Here you will find some narratives, poems, and stories written by parents of children with special needs and the reactions of students enrolled in a health communication class. The narratives  were taken from the following sources:

Poems, Stories: The Autistic Spectrum: http://stevens_mom.tripod.com/id7.html

Children’s Tumor Foundation: http://www.ctf.org/cgi-bin/bb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=002477

TimesOnline: http://timesonline.typepad.com/india_knight/reader_stories/index.html

1. To You, My Sisters
By Maureen K. Higgins
http://stevens_mom.tripod.com/id7.html

Many of you I have never even met face to face, but I’ve searched you out every day. I’ve looked for you on the internet, on playgrounds and in grocery stores.

I’ve become an expert at identifying you. You are well worn. You are stronger than you ever wanted to be. Your words ring experience, experience you culled with your very heart and soul. You are compassionate beyond the expectations of this world. You are my “sisters.”

Yes, you and I, my friend, are sisters in a sorority. A very elite sorority. We are special. Just like any other sorority, we were chosen to be members. Some of us were invited to join immediately, some not for months or even years. Some of us even tried to refuse membership, but to no avail.

We were initiated in neurologist’s offices and NICU units, in obstetrician’s offices, in emergency rooms, and during ultrasounds. We were initiated with somber telephone calls, consultations, evaluations, blood tests, x-rays, MRI films, and heart surgeries.

All of us have one thing in common. One day things were fine. We were pregnant, or we had just given birth, or we were nursing our newborn, or we were playing with our toddler. Yes, one minute everything was fine. Then, whether it happened in an instant, as it often does, or over the course of a few weeks or months, our entire lives changed. Something wasn’t quite right. Then we found ourselves mothers of children with special needs.

We are united, we sisters, regardless of the diversity of our children’s special needs. Some of our children ungergo chemotherapy. Some need respirators and ventilators. Some are unable to talk, some are unable to walk. Some eat through feeding tubes. Some live in a different world. We do not discriminate against those mothers whose children’s needs are not as “special” as our child’s. We have mutual respect and empathy for all the women who walk in our shoes.

We are knowledgeable. We have educated ourselves with whatever materials we could find. We know “the” specialists in the field. We know “the” neurologists, “the” hospitals, “the” wonder drugs, “the” treatments. We know “the” tests that need to be done, we know “the” degenerative and progressive diseases and we hold our breath while our children are tested for them. Without formal education, we could become board certified in neurology, endocrinology, and physiatry.

We have taken on our insurance companies and school boards to get what our children need to survive, and to flourish. We have prevailed upon the State to include augmentative communication devices in special education classes and mainstream schools for our children with cerebral palsy. We have labored to prove to insurance companies the medical necessity of gait trainers and other adaptive equipment for our children with spinal cord defects. We have sued municipalities to have our children properly classified so they could receive education and evaluation commensurate with their diagnosis.

We have learned to deal with the rest of the world, even if that means walking away from it. We have tolerated scorn in supermarkets during “tantrums” and gritted our teeth while discipline was advocated by the person behind us on line. We have tolerated inane suggestions and home remedies from well-meaning strangers. We have tolerated mothers of children without special needs complaining about chicken pox and ear infections. We have learned that many of our closest friends can’t understand what it’s like to be in our sorority, and don’t even want to try.

We have our own personal copies of Emily Perl Kingsley’s “A Trip To Holland” and Erma Bombeck’s “The Special Mother.” We keep them by our bedside and read and reread them during our toughest hours.

We have coped with holidays. We have found ways to get our physically handicapped children to the neighbors’ front doors on Halloween, and we have found ways to help our deaf children form the words, “trick or treat.” We have accepted that our children with sensory dysfunction will never wear velvet or lace on Christmas. We have painted a canvas of lights and a blazing yule log with our words for our blind children. We have pureed turkey on Thanksgiving. We have bought white chocolate bunnies for Easter. And all the while, we have tried to create a festive atmosphere for the rest of our family.

We’ve gotten up every morning since our journey began wondering how we’d make it through another day, and gone to bed every evening not sure how we did it.

We’ve mourned the fact that we never got to relax and sip red wine in Italy. We’ve mourned the fact that our trip to Holland has required much more baggage than we ever imagined when we first visited the travel agent. And we’ve mourned because we left for the airport without most of the things we needed for the trip.

But we, sisters, we keep the faith always. We never stop believing. Our love for our special children and our belief in all that they will achieve in life knows no bounds. We dream of them scoring touchdowns and extra points and home runs. We visualize them running sprints and marathons. We dream of them planting vegetable seeds, riding horses and chopping down trees. We hear their angelic voices singing Christmas carols. We see their palettes smeared with watercolors, and their fingers flying over ivory keys in a concert hall. We are amazed at the grace of their pirouettes. We never, never stop believing in all they will accomplish as they pass through this world.

But in the meantime, my sisters, the most important thing we do, is hold tight to their little hands as together, we special mothers and our special children, reach for the stars

1. I was very moved by this survey. This particular survey expresses the feelings of  parents with children who have autism. The person who wrote this survey is informing their reader that being a parent of a child with autism is a struggle every single day. They are aware of the problem and have been educated about the problem of autism.

2. Notes:  This mother obviously seeks the support and comfort of others who are in a similar situation as her.  She has seen her share of doctor’s visits, late nights, and awkward stares, but she still keeps so much hope for her child.  It really is a burning example of perseverance and faith.  She takes the things that may be small to other children as major accomplishments for her child.  This fact alone terrifies me, when you have children you are wanting the absolute best for your child and when you find out that they are going to be a “special needs” child, I’m sure your whole world stops and that’s what I’ve taken from this narrative.  But it’s not any less gratifying, it’s just different.

3. COMMENT: My first reaction was empathy.

4. This touched my heart. In some ways I believe that I can honestly feel what these mothers are going through even though I don’t have children of my own but I do work with people that would fit into this special needs category. The people I work with are like my family; little brothers, sisters, and even aunts and uncles for some of the older people I work with. There disabilities range from being deaf, having cerebral palsy, mild or moderate retardation on up toe severe mental and physical handicaps. It pains me and makes me mad  when  we take them out and people snicker and stare or act annoyed when they get behind us in a line and I just think to myself ‘if this were you, your family member, or someone close to you it wouldn’t be so funny or annoying then would it’ . People don’t take the time to out think  and remember that there human just like anybody else and they want to enjoy life just as any other person would like to despite there disabilities. This poem is one that will inspire and motivate all who will ever read it

5. My first thought is this:  Why is this a sorority for women?  Are there not men in this world that tend to special needs children? Secondly, I feel sorry for the men and women that are taking care of special children, they obviously have to learn to live a completely different life.

6. This passage had many grammatical errors and made it hard for me to read.  I’m glad, however, that mothers of special needs children can rely on one another.

7. I absolutely love this poem. I paint a perfect picture on the struggles in total detail that mothers of special children have to deal with on a day to day basis. It makes you appreciate the hard work that the parents of these children have to go through and all the sacrifices that they have to make in order for their special child to grow up in the best environment that he or she can be able to.

8. Response: I was struck with the authors repetitive use of the phrase “We Know…” certainly parents of special needs children “Know” things that the rest of us do not, they know how to love and how to see beyond the disability and handicap. They see what the rest of us do not see. They see the inner child “reach for the stars.”

9.  I’m speechless. This woman’s testimony of her and others really brings to light the many trials these parents must go through that we “normal” people take for granted. I’ve never been ignorant to the pains these individuals go through but never heard it in such detail. I have much respect for all of them.

10. Entails a silent-bond, an unspoken support for one another and a special camaraderie without verbal expressions. 

11. A mother’s perspective. References “A Trip to Holland.” Mourns things she won’t get to do. Does not discriminate against people whose children are not as “special”

12. How true, we not in the “sorority” only see things from the outside and will never realize what a “special mother” really goes through no matter how close we try to get to that family.  Oh how we take for granted the little things in life.

13. Mine: This really puts things in perspective. It is all true. I can remember thinking many of the things mentioned at times. I’m not sure what that the temper tantrum being thrown in the aisle is a special needs kid. I will consider it the next time I see this happen. I can never begin to imagine what these parents go through, not at this point in my life. What is it like to be looked at awkwardly any and every time you go out in public? How exhausting it must be to go to bed each evening knowing that your normal day tomorrow will be spent caring for your kid, longing for some sense of normalcy in their and your life. Yet, I do see mothers with such a deep love that is almost unequaled. To love, care for, and provide comfort for their child, simply to give them a moment, however infrequent, of feeling normal. The reward for these mothers will be unmatched in eternity.

14.  I love the way the author refers to the mom’s of special needs children as sisters. She says the way that they became sisters may not have been the same, but they have so much in common with one another. I really like when she says “we keep the faith always”, and that they will reach for the stars.

15. This poem really touched my heart. It was really moving and put things in perspective for me. It’s great to know that parents of special needs children have a place to go and have support from one another. It made me step aside from my life and actually place myself in their shoes to see what constant struggles they go through on a daily basis.

16. This sounds like a special, strong, mother.  I'm sure she didn't mean to leave out the males that take care of their children too.  It just reads better when you dont have to type sorority/fraternaty ..   I really feel for these people and all the stress that they have to deal with.  It isn't fair and there isn't enough help or knowledge out there for them to live in peace.  This woman seems like she gathers her strength in numbers and comraderie.

17. The use of the words sisters and sorority really stands out in this narrative.  It’s an important thing to have others you can lean on in times of trouble, and that’s what a sorority is.  Even though it’s a difficult road this woman feels as though she has a group of people to go to for support.

2. A Trip To Holland
By Emily Perl Kingsley
http://www.ctf.org/cgi-bin/bb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=002477

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability -- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans... the Coliseum, the Sistine Chapel, Gondolas. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After several months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland!" "Holland?" you say. "What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy. I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine, and disease. It's just a different place. So, you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around. You begin to notice that Holland has windmills. Holland has tulips. And Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, " Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that experience will never, ever, ever, go away. The loss of that dream is a very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.

1. This particular article is very sad.  Everyone imagine that they are going to have the perfect family and life, but it always does not go that way.  To me Emily feels that she is stuck at this place that she does not want to be, but she learns to except the good things about Holland

2. Notes:  This narrative provides a great comparison of what it means to find out you have a special needs child to a trip to Italy and finding out you landed in Holland.  I like how it is compared to an equally beautiful country, but it’s not what you were expecting.  Does anyone expect to have a special needs child?  It provides hope that one day you’ll grow to adapt to your special needs child and that its not the end of life itself for you.

3. COMMENT: This made me think that I should make the best of a situation instead of letting the situation “make me”.

4. In my experience with working with people with disabilities I don’t think that enough of the parents feel the same way about there disabled kids. I have cried right along side a number of the people I work with when there mom, dad, sister, brother, aunt, or whoever did come and pick them up or call like they said they would. I have heard the horror stories of what some of my clients had been through before they came to the facility where I work. They were physically, sexually, and mentally abused simply because they had disabilities. I think the parent who wrote this is one of the exceptions because she like so many others embraced ‘Holland’ instead of making it this terrible thing and trying to destroy it. I think one of those old clichés fit right in as far as this poem is concerned i.e  “The grass isn’t always greener on the other side”. The other side would of course be Italy in this case.

5. No doubt these women experience a large amount of disappointment upon discovering they have a special needs child.  The women that stay sane will be the ones that find joy in Holland as well. 

6. Literally, I love Holland.  I actually prefer it over Italy.  In the analogy form, this was a neat essay that shows how raising a special needs child can be very difficult and unsuspecting.   

7. I think that’s a very interesting figurative story on the raising a child. What I truly enjoy about the story is that they call the trip to Holland “a different place instead of a dirty filthy place.” People often think that raising a child with special needs is like a curse. Sure it’s hard and challenging, but it’s just a unique way to raise a child. It takes more time and effort, but you have to enjoy the time you have. Also I love the statement about instead of complaining about it, you should take their hand and enjoy that very special trip to Holland.

8. Response: Wow, the metaphor nailed what I imagine the experience of raising a special needs child must be like. I think in a very real sense this metaphor applies to all of our lives, we grow up with certain expectations about life and often those expectations go unfulfilled. It is amazing to me the sacrifice and vision that is modeled by those raising special needs children.

9. * THAT WAS AWESOME!!! She described her experience in a totally different, but glorious way.

10. Disappointment.

11. Mother’s perspective. Refers to grief/mourning, and the mourning process (and acceptance).

12. It takes special people to see the beauty in any and all situations and not to hold grudges or walk through life disappointed over what should have or could have been.  It must be extremely difficult to get off a plane in an unexpected undesired destination and still enjoy the trip.

13. Mine: This is wonderfully worded. It is a great point to consider. We are never assured of what hand we will be dealt, but we can make the most of the hands we are dealt. It’s a matter of perspective.

14. This is a great illustration, I feel that when change comes you must adapt to or it will change you. The writer makes a great point by saying if you spend your time thinking about what you don’t have or what missed out on you will never enjoy what you have. This is a great way to look at life.15.

15. What a great metaphor! This makes you really think that sometimes life throws you curves and you may not like it at first but you just have to stick with it and deal with it, because in the end you end up learning so much more.

16. Wow.  I like how this person puts the disability into perspective.  He/she has also come to accept and enjoy what was given and not continue to dwell on what wasn't given.

17. This narrative provides a good analogy for the feeling of having a child with special needs.  

3. Celebrating Holland- I'm Home
By Cathy Anthony
http://www.ctf.org/cgi-bin/bb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=002477

(my follow-up to the original \Welcome to Holland\ by Emily Perl Kingsley)

I have been in Holland for over a decade now. It has become home. I have had time to catch my breath, to settle and adjust, to accept something different than I'd planned.I reflect back on those years of past when I had first landed in Holland. I remember clearly my shock, my fear, my anger, the pain and uncertainty. Inthose first few years, I tried to get back to Italy as planned, but Holland was where I was to stay. Today, I can say how far I have come on this unexpected journey. I have learned so much more. But, this too has been a journey of time.

I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language and I slowly found my way around this new land. I have met others whose plans had changed like mine, and who could share my experience. We supported one another and some have become very special friends.

Some of these fellow travelers had been in Holland longer than I and were seasoned guides, assisting me along the way. Many have encouraged me. Many have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and gifts to behold in this new land. I have discovered a community of caring. Holland wasn't so bad.

I think that Holland is used to wayward travelers like me and grew to become a land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, to assist and to support newcomers like me in this new land. Over the years, I've wondered what life would have been like if I'd landed in Italy as planned. Would life have been easier? Would it have been as rewarding? Would I have learned some of the important lessons I hold today?

Sure, this journey has been more challenging and at times I would (and still do) stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest. And, yes, Holland is slower paced than Italy and less flashy than Italy, but this too has been an unexpected gift. I have learned to slow down in ways too and look closer at things, with a new appreciation for the remarkable beauty of Holland with its tulips, windmills and Rembrandts.

I have come to love Holland and call it Home.

I have become a world traveler and discovered that it doesn't matter where you land. What's more important is what you make of your journey and how you see and enjoy the very special, the very lovely, things that Holland, or any land, has to offer.

Yes, over a decade ago I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet I am thankful, for this destination has been richer than I could have imagined

1. Now Emily as leaned to cope with fact that her child has autism. To me, this is a very sad problem that parents face, and they need help coping with the problem. Suggestions would be through counseling or some form of a talk group. I am aware of the problems that these parents face, because I have been in classroom with children who have autisms. Autism can be very difficult to handle.

2. Notes:  This narrative describes the support and community that comes along with having a special needs child.  She questions about how different it would have been to land in Italy rather than Holland, which is interesting, because I could see how you could feel guilty for thinking that, but it seems that a lot of mothers do that.  How could you not wonder, but would it be as rewarding, you wouldn’t take as much joy in the little things, they would just pass you before you know it.  I think the number one thing parents of special needs children learn is PAITIENCE.

3. COMMENT: This passage made me think of the old saying, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”.

4. It sounds to me like this woman has really accepted and embraced her ‘Holland’. I just the wish the world would do the same. She realized that living in the past was not what she needed to do and moved on. She had to take the road less traveled and now she is better because of it.

5. This proves my previous response to be true.  Holland can be beautiful too.  –

6. Sometimes life throws us curves and we have to accept them.  It’s how we accept them that makes us who we are. 

7. This is a nice follow-up to the last story. It reflects the situation of the Holland visit nicely. I love where it says that I have a greater appreciation for the tulips and the windmills. Also the its true to say that you should enjoy the scenery no matter where you land.

8. Response: “I have become a world traveler and discovered that it doesn't matter where you land. What's more important is what you make of your journey and how you see and enjoy the very special, the very lovely, things that Holland, or any land, has to offer.” I think this quote sums it up nicely. What a great way to look at this situation, what a great way to look at life in general.

9. * I’m glad that she realizes that her destination wasn’t “poorer” at all. I’m also touched by the compassion that “Holland” citizens had for her and in assisting her with problems and guiding her along the way.

10. Acceptance. Coming to terms of one’s fate.

11. Mother’s perspective. Hospitality, welcoming, assisting “newcomers” (also implying ‘group mentality’).

12. How important it is for us all to realize that it is not the journey or where you land but what you do and make of the journey that ultimately counts.

13. Mine: The rich experience does not come without heartache at time. Overcoming the disappointments in life can really help see the beauty in what God has given. I have such admiration for these individuals raising special needs kids. They have a far greater understanding of patience, overcoming negativity, and providing true care than most ever discover in this world.

14. This analogy allows me to feel what parents must go through, because they are in place that seems to be the right destination. Then they find out that they don’t fit into the culture. 15.

15. The last thing is what caught my eye. Sometimes we get the most unexpected opportunities, experiences, journeys, gifts, etc - but what is really important is accepting the unexpected and learning to cope and make the best of it.

16.  Same as #2.

17.  It’s great to see that this person has been able to cope with the unexpected life they found themselves in.

4. Trip to Holland? Not us. A Little ‘Musing’
by Jennifer Armerding
http://www.ctf.org/cgi-bin/bb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=002477

It seems every parent with a child with special needs has read the little story equating having a child with a disability to an overseas trip. In this analogy the parents having a child assume they are going to Italy, like every other parent they know, and, lo and behold, they discover that they have gone to Holland instead. A slower, equally enjoyable place, but a new language must be learned, new activities engaged in, and with the knowledge that they were supposed to go to Italy, but never quite made it, always in the backs of their minds. Well, last night I came to a realization that my experience hasn’t been quite that. I love Holland (metaphorically speaking). Always have. I like life a little slower than some. However, I just discovered that my kids and I are not IN Holland! A mistake has been made. We are definitely Dutch. No argument there. But we are in Italy. And we are there to stay, like it or not.

Let me explain.

My children were born with disabilities. I was blessed to be their foster/adoptive mother from the time they were each about two years old. Now they are 8 and 11. I love the ‘Holland’ story, and have read it on numerous occasions. However, last night I came home from a Halloween carnival in tears as it sunk in once again that our family just does not fit in when we go out in society. Usually we are in quite a protected environment. Family that loves and knows us. Friends who’s families are also dealing with disabilities. The world of therapies, doctors, equipment issues. Sometimes I think we ‘fit in’ beautifully. Then we go out. I laid in bed thinking back to that lovely Holland story, and somehow it did not fit, so I made up a new story, that is closer to what I perceive as the experience of many families with children with disabilities.

Hey! You are having a baby! Sure enough, you are told by the doctors that you have a baby, but apparently the baby is Dutch, rather than Italian, which is what you were expecting. (Let’s make the silly assumption that nationality brings with it different care needs!) Woah! Now you need to learn to care for a Dutch baby. New lingo, new physical care, etc. But… you are IN Italy. Your friends are still Italian. Your grocery store is still Italian. Your church is still Italian. And most of them haven’t met anybody Dutch before. They are intrigued by your child. However, Dutch babies are pretty adorable, in general, like any other baby. You also find that there are a league of professional people swarming around whose entire job is to help your baby adapt to become more Italian as he grows. You meet other families who ended up with Dutch babies and live in Italy. You all hold out hope that your babies will become more Italian as time goes on. As your baby grows, you read magazine articles and see television features about babies ‘just like yours’ who beat the odds and became Italian! Yours doesn’t.
He isn’t a baby anymore, and the former swarm of professionals becomes a few here and there. People aren’t saying it, but you get the feeling they don’t think there is much chance he will gain too many Italian skills as time goes on. He is slower, can’t seem to learn the language, looks different, etc. Ok, you tell yourself! Dutch is good! This kid is the greatest! People from Italy and Holland can coexist! We will call it inclusion! Then you learn that inclusion means that the Dutch kids have to be able to do what the Italian kids are doing or they are deemed ‘inappropriate’. Some of your friends’ Dutch kids manage to do this. Some of them don’t. Apparently they belong with other Dutch kids in a separate place. Italian kids will visit them from time to time, maybe reading to them or playing games, and then they will leave. Other kids have ‘friends’. Your kid has ‘helpers’. The Italian kids might even earn points and rewards for volunteering to do this!
Your child is now not a ‘little kid’ anymore. You and he walk down the street in your wooden shoes and realize all of a sudden that everyone rushing past you is wearing the latest styles; leather, silk, designer clothes. They are talking madly on their cel phones. They are laughing and drinking their espressos in sidewalk cafes. They are speaking Italian, which you used to know. In fact you were fluent. Now you wonder what happened. Dutch is now your language. The Italian seems…. foreign somehow. When did YOU become Dutch? Well, the hard part is that, far from being an adorable baby, your child is now a challenge for Italian people to accept. Unless they know other Dutch children or have known you for a while, it is hard for them to know what to say to you, how to treat your child. If they invited your child to a birthday party, for example, what would they do with him? They only speak Italian. The games will all be ones Italian kids play. So they don’t invite him. The Italians are big hearted, warm people, in general, but still, you are a foreigner. Other kids stare and sometimes even worry that they might become Dutch if they get too close. So they don’t. You stand in a crowded hall with your wonderful, sweet child with a 10-foot parametre of empty space around you, and that is when it hits you.

We are not in Holland. We are never going to Holland. This is it

1. This parent is determined to let everyone know that her child is not a mistake and that she is on the same trip as everyone else, but it is just taking a small detour. There are a lot of places a person can go by taking a different route. I think that Jennifer explains herself by not complaining, but handing the problem. Jennifer is not excepting the story she is determine to fight the problem with positive feedback. I agree with Jennifer, she does not have to except the story of Holland. She can make up her own story and educate other parents on how to deal with autism, rather than relate their problem to a sad story.

2. Notes:            I liked how in this narrative this mother describes how difficult adapting to your new life can be.  It is a little less hopeful and maybe she doesn’t have the supportive community like the mother before.  I can’t imagine how insanely difficult it would be to leave everything you are familiar with and just start all over with this “dutch child” you know nothing about.  While your stuck with this burden your friends and everything you know is zooming past.  Does she find her journey as rewarding?  She sounds a little bitter.

3. COMMENT: It seems to me the author of this passage is saying that raising a special needs child makes one loose him/herself; the society they once knew seems so far away.

4. WOW! This poem opens up a whole new can of worms! She seems like she has had a reality check instead of trying to live in the fantasy world of ‘Holland’ she knows she is still in ‘Italy’. This poem seems to be the most realistic of them all and I commend this latest for being bold and honest and not sugar coating what the other two poems seem to have done even though they were very touching.

5. I like this analogy better than the first one because this one seems much truer in comparison to what it must really be like to raise a special needs child.  It’s not that a special needs parent is stuck in Holland, but that Holland is stuck in them. 

6. Truthfully, the Holland analogy is getting old, but I think that this passage makes the most sense.  Raising a special needs child is kind of like raising a person from another country.  They are hard to communicate with and understand.  I can’t imagine having to deal with this as a special needs parent. 

7. Ok this story makes better sense than the Holland story. The nationality of the baby makes a better comparison than the visit. If you land in Holland then everyone should understand the Holland way of life, but it’s not that way at all. Not everyone has a child with disabilities, so not everyone can be Dutch. This woman has a Dutch family living in an Italian world.

8. Response: “I have become a world traveler and discovered that it doesn't matter where you land. What's more important is what you make of your journey and how you see and enjoy the very special, the very lovely, things that Holland, or any land, has to offer.” I think this quote sums it up nicely. What a great way to look at this situation, what a great way to look at life in general.

9. * I think this metaphor fits more appropriately with adopted families, as this one was. And, my intention is not to criticize, because I’m sure most if not all parents with special needs children experience this feeling, but I think this woman has experienced quite a bit of bitterness and hurt feelings towards those who are “normal” and are unsure of the unknown. I don’t blame her for that.

10. In reality, Holland is your home whether you like it or not.  This is where you belong.

11. Mother’s perspective. Being in Italy, but being Dutch.. Strangers/others try to “help” your child be more Italian (even has “helpers”). Becoming a foreigner. People are scared to come too close.

12. Some people perceive their situation differently than others, seeing their selves as foreigners in their own land.  Can you blame them?  Holland or Italy, no matter what you make of it or how you see it, special needs is titled “special” because its not the “common”.

13. Mine: I’m just continuing to learn about what these families are going through. A parent wants their kid to be accepted by others. When that child is noticeable different… How much that must hurt!

14. This analogy allows me to feel what parents must go through, because they are in place that seems to be the right destination. Then they find out that they don’t fit into the culture. 15.

15. I like this comparison better. The nationality metaphor really helps represent the reality of raising a child with special needs and the constant struggles that exist.

16. Hmm.. seems like a more realistic view point.  This person has some pent up frustrations and issues still, and I don't blame her.  I'm sure she has been burned by her "friends", and now feels isolated and alone with her "dutch baby".

17. I like this analogy better than the first. It seems truer.

5. WELCOME TO BEIRUT
© Susan F. Rzucidlo
(Beginner's Guide to Autism)
http://stevens_mom.tripod.com/id7.html

"I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with autism-to try and help people who have not shared in that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this.."

There you are, happy in your life, one or two little ones at your feet. Life is complete and good. One of the children is a little different than the other but of course, he's like your in-laws, and you did marry into the family. It can't be all that bad. One day someone comes up from behind you and throws a black bag over your head. They start kicking you in the stomach and trying to tear your heart out. You are terrified, kicking and screaming you struggle to get away but there are too many of them, they overpower you and stuff you into a trunk of a car. Bruised and dazed, you don't know where you are. What's going to happen to you? Will you live through this? This is the day you get the diagnosis. "YOUR CHILD HAS AUTISM"!

There you are in Beirut, dropped in the middle of a war. You don't know the language and you don't know what is going on. Bombs are dropping "Life long diagnosis" and "Neurologically impaired". Bullets whiz by "refrigerator mother" " A good smack is all HE needs to straighten up". Your adrenaline races as the clock ticks away your child's chances for "recovery". You sure as heck didn't sign up for this and want out NOW! God has over estimated your abilities.

Unfortunately, there is no one to send your resignation to. You've done everything right in your life, well you tried, well, you weren't caught too often. Hey! you've never even heard of autism before  You look around and everything looks the same, but different. Your family is the same, your child is the same, but now he has a label and you have a case worker assigned to your family. She'll call you soon. You feel like a lab rat dropped into a maze. 

Just as you start to get the first one figured out ( early intervention) they drop you into a larger more complex one (school). Never to be out done, there is always the medical intervention maze. That one is almost never completed. There is always some new "miracle" drug out there. It helps some kids, will it help yours? You will find some if the greatest folks in the world are doing the same maze you are, maybe on another level but a special-ed maze just the same. Tapping into those folks is a great life line to help you get through the day. This really sucks but hey, there are still good times to be had. WARNING! You do develop and odd sense of humor. Every so often you get hit by a bullet or bomb not enough to kill you, only enough to leave a gaping wound.

Your child regresses for no apparent reason, and it feels like a kick in the stomach. Some bully makes fun of your kid and your heart aches. You're excluded from activities and functions because of your child and you cry. Your other children are embarrassed to be around your disabled child and you sigh. You're insurance company refuses to provide therapies for "chronic, life long conditions" and your blood pressure goes up. Your arm aches from holding onto the phone with yet another bureaucrat or doctor or therapist who holds the power to improve or destroy the quality of your child's life with the stroke of a pen. You're exhausted because your child doesn't sleep.

And yet, hope springs eternal.

Yes there is hope. There ARE new medications. There IS research going on. There are interventions that help. Thank God for all those who fought so hard before you came along. Your child will make progress. When he speaks for the first time, maybe not until he is 8 yrs old, your heart will soar. You will know that you have experienced a miracle and you will rejoice. The smallest improvement will look like a huge leap to you. You will marvel at typical development and realize how amazing it is. You will know sorrow like few others and yet you will know joy above joy. You will meet dirty faced angels on playgrounds who are kind to your child without being told to be.

There will be a few nurses and doctors who treat your child with respect and who will show you concern and love like few others. Knowing eyes will meet yours in restaurants and malls, they'll understand, they are living through similar times. For those people you will be forever grateful. Don't get me wrong. This is war and its awful. There are no discharges and when you are gone someone else will have to fight in your place.

But, there are lulls in wars, times when the bullets aren't flying and bombs aren't dropping. Flowers are seen and picked. Life long friendships are forged. You share and odd kinship with people from all walks of life. Good times are had, and because we know how bad the bad times are, the good times are even better. Life is good but your life is never normal again, but hey, what fun is normal?

from their guest(s) with Autism.

1. It seems that no one wants to experience having a child with autism. There is a lot of people judging parents of children with autism. This story is heart breaking; I would never imagine in million years that parents would feel this way about their child’s condition with autism. Parents are screaming out for help form the society and children who are judging these parents who have these kids with autism.

2. Notes:  This mother compares her experience with something like a terrorist attack.  Which I find a little hard to believe, but I’m sure that is what her experience was like.  It’s hard to differentiate their experience from other mothers with special needs children.  They all seem to go through the same outcast feelings and hopelessness, but gain some kind light at the end of their tunnel to find hope for a better day.  Again she points out the community surrounding autism and the mothers who have and are dealing with this issue.

3. COMMENT:  Made me see that even amongst the chaos that autism brings we must try to find that happy place.

4. This poem is very reality based just as the one before it. It gives you a look into the lives of the different types of people and what they go through on a regular basis. I felt both sympathy and apathy; sympathy because I am sorry that they have to go through these struggles, but apathy because I know what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger and by the grace of God you can get through anything and I do mean anything.

5. A very transparent description of what one must feel upon receiving the news that your child has autism, but a silver lining is found as the mother finds an optimistic ending.  “Life is never normal again, but hey, what fun is normal?”

6. All I have to say about this one is that I pray I never have a special needs child.  If I do, I pray that God will give me the strength to handle the situation.

7. I’m not a fan of this story at all. First, comparing the world of having an autistic child to a life of war is a bit over the top. I mean I know it’s going to be a rough journey, but a war? Please…I’m sure the death rate in having an autistic child is much lower than a war. Second, you get to experience something that most parents never get a chance to have. They get the opportunity to experience those special moments with their special child like noticing the little moments of life that we constantly miss.

8. Response: “I have become a world traveler and discovered that it doesn't matter where you land. What's more important is what you make of your journey and how you see and enjoy the very special, the very lovely, things that Holland, or any land, has to offer.” I think this quote sums it up nicely. What a great way to look at this situation, what a great way to look at life in general.

9.  I don’t know whether to be disturbed by or happy for this woman. The opening seen was somewhat dark, but yet she seems to have developed an odd sense of humor throughout her family’s ordeal. I’m sure it helps to relieve the pain that she has to overcome on an everyday basis.

10. Why me? Bitterness.

11. What is a “refrigerator mother”?. God has overestimated your abilities (has he?  God doesn’t give you more than you can handle). “You’ve done everything right” (as if a special needs child is punishment??) being “labeled” –we all have a label. label departmentalizes us, gives us a number. labels create stigmas. This is a fight, “those who fought so hard”/ war analogy. “odd kinship”- family/community. Mother’s perspective

12. When you know how bad the bad can be the good is even better.  The problem is, who wants to experience how bad the bad can be.

13. Mine: It is scary to consider how drastic the description of how it feels when your child is diagnosed with autism. I seems a small bit what segregation was like for African Americans. It is on a different level, with the absence of physical harm, but there is still a great deal of emotional harm that is dealt out. We are really selfish as Americans.

14. This is a very tough look at life with a special needs child. The opening illustration is very rough. I never though that raising a child could be compared to a war zone. 15.

15. I don’t really like how she says “its war and awful” - really bitter. But then the last statement is what sums it up “Good times are had, and because we know how bad the bad times are, the good times are even better. Life is good but your life is never normal again, but hey, what fun is normal?”

16. So far these naratives have been pretty much the same with a different twist.  Weither it be more anger or acceptance etc..  This persons seems more challenged by what has happened and seems determined to fight on.  Most of these people are a touch bitter and jaded.

17. This narrative is a more enthusiastic, it talks about hope.

6. Someone I Love
by: Lori Hickman
http://stevens_mom.tripod.com/id7.html

Someone I love relies on me in ways you will never nderstand.

Someone I love endures pain and challenges that break my heart and renew my pirit at the same time.

Someone I love is unable to advocate for themselves for things that most of us take for granted.

Someone I love will never have the opportunities that every child should have.

Someone I love will need unconditional love and support after I am gone - this frightens me to the core.

Someone I love encounters pity, stereotyping responses, and prejudice at every turn, because they look, act, and/or learn differently than others.

Someone I love has needs that require me to allow "outsiders" to have power and input in areas that should be mine alone to meet.

Someone I love will continue to look to me for everything in life long after other children are able to assume a place as part of the world.

Someone I love has needs that require more time and energy than I have to give.

Someone I love has needs that mean I am not able to meet basic needs of my own.

Someone I love has needs that have become the driving force behind major decisions my family makes.

Someone I love has changed me in ways I will never be able to describe.

Someone I love has taught me about love and about the really important things in life. . . .

1. Autism is a problem that never gets a break

2. Notes:   I like how this poem begins each line with “Someone I love” this demonstrates how a mother’s love is so unconditional.  It doesn’t matter the state of her child, she will ALWAYS love them.  She takes the good and the bad and lives each day with as much love in her heart as she did the day before.

3. COMMENT: The key words here are “someone I love”. It shows that even though a special needs child can make things a little harder on a parent, they still love them just the same.

4. I think that the people we love whether they have disabilities or not teach us to live, love, and learn in many different ways. This poem is good but I don’t think that it relates to only people who have Kids with disabilities but also to those who may have kids with eating disorders, drug problems, or any other problem. This poem relates to more than special needs children and that’s what makes it great.

5. I love this poem because it displays what true love is, patience, grace, mercy, endurance, and kindness. 

6. The part that stated, “Someone I love will need unconditional love and support after I am gone - this frightens me to the core,” really captured my attention.  I imagine that if I were a mother of a special needs child, I would constantly worry about what might happen to my child if something happened to me.

7. Again this story reflects the things that most of us do not get to experience in having a special child. It states that someone loves a person that cannot express they feel or truly understand the world around them or understand the world in a way that we never can.

8. Response: The phrase “Someone I love” stands out because it precedes a statement describing sacrifice and unselfishness, this, I think is the true definition of love. Love may be most adequately defined by a parent’s relationship with a special needs child. This is a picture of real love.

9.  This woman’s love is deep. She fully accepts her responsibility as a parent in her child’s life even if it means she must also accept self-made sacrifices in her own.

10. Stepping into the shoes of this person would be overwhelming just from the worries and fears of leaving a child like this.  Who would be the next caregiver?  Would they have the values that this person possesses?

11. Mother’s perspective. Sacrifice. Putting someone else above self.

12. True love is unconditional, love without an end, a no matter what love.  Who better knows True Love than a parent of a special needs child?

13. Mine: Could not be better said. When you learn to love one of these special needs children, You end up learning how God loves you. 14.

14. The viewpoint that the parent is a great one, when I read this I feel that this is a parent that really loves their child.

15. A mother’s unconditional love is the best kind of love there is. I think that this can relate not only to children with special needs but children that have other problems as well.

16. This one was a poem.  I don't do well with poems, but her concerns are the same as the others.  Who will take care of my child when I'm gone?  I have to sacrifice things that I love and are important.

17. I like the consistency of the phrase “Someone I love”

"Living In My Skin: The Insider's View of Life With a Special Needs Child" ~ Copyright (c) 2000 by Communication Skill Builders, a Harcourt Health Sciences Company.

 7. You have Taught Me
By Anne Maclellan
March 1998
http://www.ctf.org/cgi-bin/bb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=002477

You have Taught Me

You have taught me patience
to rejoice in small gains which others take for granted.
You have taught me tolerance
to accept that your perspective is different
and deserves respect.
You have taught me courage
to fight for you when no one else will.
You have taught me endurance
to go on when I feel I can't any more.
You have taught me humility
to accept when I can't make things better
but can only be here for you.
You have taught me to love
at a deeper level than I ever thought possible.

1. Children with autism can teach parents many things, this parent is looking at the positive, rather than focusing on the negative.

2. Notes:  It is amazing how the child has taught the mother more than she probably thought he/she ever would.  Even when she thought she wanted to give up and was spent her child did something, taught her something new that has enriched her life for the better. 

3. COMMENT: This shows that a special needs child can teach us things we probably take for granted.

4. This poem is nice and reminds of the Serenity prayer that me and my mom say together in hard times. “God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.” Amen

5. Another poem about the advantages of having a special needs child.  They teach you to love. 6. I’m sure that having a special needs child enhances the respect one has for people around them who are not “normal.”   After reading this poem, I realize that some people more readily accept the differences in their children and love them for it. 

7. It’s amazing that having a child with disabilities can teach us the basic virtues of life. They teach us patience and courage. They can also teach us endurance and the humility that we sometimes forget about.

8. Response: Again this is another great example of “True love” and it has nothing to do with what the child can do for the parent but has everything to do with what the parent learns by serving the child. So often I get caught up in bragging about the accomplishments of my children, and in encouraging them to succeed at whatever they do, I wonder how my love for my children would be different if they could do nothing for me, if they did not serve to make me look good. I think this is what the parents of special needs children have discovered, something that we all would do well to learn.

9.  Isn’t it ironic that a special needs child, who, often according to the world, is dumb or stupid, can teach individuals to develop traits that we all desire.

10. This poem provided a coping tool that leads to patience, courage and the will to live on. 

11. Mother’s perspective. Love at a deeper level.

12. How much better of a person can we become by accepting and learning from what life has handed us.

13. Mine: The only ones who truly know what it’s like are the ones who have to live it.

14. I feel that this poem is the true definition of love.

15. When I read this I think of how we learn new things everyday. Having a special needs child is just that you learn something new everyday whether its being taught or not.

16. Another poem.  People are capable of more then they think they are.  The mind is a powerful tool when motivated to be so.  Most of these people have figured that out.

17. This person has used their experiences for learning rather than pain or aggression.

8. The Woman in the Mirror......
By Cheryl Veenstra
February 2001
http://www.ctf.org/cgi-bin/bb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=002477

I saw an unfamiliar face in the mirror today. She caught my eye as I rushed to start the day. I hardly recognized this woman. What had changed in her eyes? She was no longer young, naive and viewing the world through rose-tinted glasses. What had caused the worry lines and thoughtful brow? How could she look so fragile and weary, yet also determined and strong? Around some corner on the road of life.......she had been shaken to the core of her very being.

There was a time when only tears and fears were reflected in those eyes. A doctor's unexpected words, the future suddenly uncertain......gray, shadowy images of the vague and scary concept of her child coming into the world as "disabled". An incredible journey began that caught her by surprise and would take her places she never thought she would go. The journey had been long at times and she had shed tears of pain and tears of joy. She'd had hopes and dreams dashed in the blink of an eye. She'd asked the question WHY? She'd had friends fail her and not know what to say or how to help. She'd seen her child suffer. She'd cried silent tears into her pillow at night. Tears of exhaustion and fear. Tears of helplessness and longing. Tears of thankfulness and relief. Tears that are choked back during the day, but are unleashed like floodwaters in the safety of the night to wash away any walls being built up to protect her heart. Nights of worry blurring into days of endless responsibility. But then slowly, but surely, her broken heart begins to heal and mend.

The same pity she had once felt as she watched a mother hold her 'special child' close was now looking back at her in the eyes of strangers. But a smile tugs at her lips as she suddenly realizes that now she knew the secret! The hard-fought, carefully guarded secret that was slowly revealed in the depths of her heart.....but only after the tears and anguish of the first days and weeks of this new life. The illusive truth that mothers of special children discover as they take their first faltering steps down this
new path........It was okay. She and her child could survive, even thrive! It was not as grueling and unforgiving a road as she had imagined. The fog, confusion, despair and fear were being slowly replaced by peace, acceptance, contentment, joy and gratitude. A mother's unique, unconditional love changes the equation that may look hopeless and tough from those outside, looking in. She will fight for, live for and die for her child. These special children transform those around them into different people. Stronger people. Dare I say it......deeper people. Long gone are the days when all they had to worry about was where to vacation or what color mini-van to buy. They now struggle with life and death medical issues. They must answer their child's questions about life's unfairness and pain. What remaining strength and energy they have is spent trying to make their
'family life' as normal and happy as possible.

A twinkle returns to the eyes of the woman in the mirror as she takes a deep breath and remembers what she's been fighting for. How very worthwhile this journey has been! This child is an incredible gift and it is a privilege to be given the task of raising her. Her child is beautiful and perfect in her eyes. She longs for her child to be seen by the world through this filter of love, acceptance and potential. Could others take the time to see past this little girl's slower steps to see the life and love reflected in her eyes? Would her child be able to see herself through the filter of contentment that the woman has journeyed so long to discover?

Hope was rekindled as the woman's eyes grew brighter. The future remained uncertain, but the incredible, protective love she felt for her child threw a warm blanket over the cold, dark storm clouds that used to threaten her very soul. As she threw open the doors of her heart, she felt the warm sun on her face and she beheld a beautiful rainbow of intense beauty and unmistakable peace. Hope still comforts this woman who cries in the middle of the night. Love gets her through each day. Faith takes her hand and leads her around each corner and through each deep, dark valley. Peace soothes her heart as she relinquishes control of their destiny to One wiser and all knowing. Joy brings laughter and smiles to those tired eyes once again. Each day is recognized for the gift it is.

I gave that woman a smile as I left her at the mirror today. I'll see her again soon and I'm curious to see how she will continue to change and grow. She's not the same young, carefree woman she used to be, but that is okay. I like who she is becoming and I feel comfortable in her life. The sun is shining, the day is brand new, my child is humming and God is so good!

1. This particular person is learning to cope with the problem. She is evaluating every part of her up and downs and still she is moving on without any heart ache.

2. Notes:  This mother has noticed the changes not only emotionally but physically.  When she first found out about her daughter’s condition she had all the regular concerns that parents of special children have, will they survive?  But, she realizes one day that they both have survived and it was more of a blessing than she ever expected.

3. COMMENT: This passage seems to be a breath of fresh air to a mother who just now realizes that everything is going to be ok.

4. And right she is… God is good, not sometime but all the time in my eyes. You may go through trials and tribulations but there will always be sunshine after the rain and that is what this poem describes.

5. Philippians 4:4-8.  God will give us peace and joy in all situations if we earnestly seek Him.  Just another promise from His word that proves true in personal testimony.

6. Like any other hard situation in life, raising a special needs child is a challenge.  Sometimes we have to roll with the punches and push forward.  We have to make the best out of the situation at hand.  Most of all we have to love unconditionally; I believe that is probably what it takes to live the life of a mother of a handicapped child.

7. I’ve actually spoken with a mother of a special child who has told me a story that is quite similar to this one. They said they got up one morning and noticed that something was different about the reflection she saw. She noticed a woman who was exhausted and completely stressed. But in the end, she said it was worth it. I have helped a child who may not have had a chance if they haven’t might have been raised by someone else. She said it was totally worth it.

8. Response: I love the metaphor of a Journey, I think it serves to adequately describe the life of a special needs child/parent relationship. I think it is a great way to describe all of life. It is not about the destination, it is about enjoying the journey.

9.  I love that last sentence. She’s just taking it as it comes, realizing and accepting that she’s not the same person she once was, but that it’s okay and even good.

10. Reflects a woman who has cared for a disabled child and has been so caught up in her child’s world she didn’t see who she had become.  Hope and faith lets her know that she is doing what matters the most.

11. Talks of healing and mending (going through the grieving process). Finds acceptance and contentment. Privilege in raising a special needs child. Idea of special needs children transforming people into “deeper” people. Mother’s perspective.

12. It is so important to love who you are and are becoming. 

13. Mine: Our plans, goals, and dreams for life can often change. It’s not always a bad thing when they are directed in ways we never expected. How much we can learn of ourselves and our God when we persevere through life.

14. The woman in the narrative starts out feeling sorry for herself as reflects back on her life. Then she realizes what life is all about. She realizes that God is good and he does not make mistakes.

15. When you fight hard enough for someone you care strongly for, slowly but surely over time through all the trials and tears you will become a stronger person you never knew you could become.

16. This woman has found peace.  I like that.  Nobody should have to beat themselves down everyday of their lives.  Life throws curve balls at you and it is the measure of a man/woman, in how you deal with it.  It is all a matter of perception really.  I'm happy this woman figured it out.

17. This writer strongly says “It’s Ok.”  I think that’s great.

9. The Silent, Constant Scream
By Pat Linkhorn, from FIN FACTS
http://www.ctf.org/cgi-bin/bb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=002477

Most parents who have kids with disabilities usually seem to be fairly normal people. Others, who don't have children with disabilities, sometimes tell us what saints we must be to do all the things we do. Those of us who have been at this for several years know we're not saints. We know how long it took us to get to this place. This place where we appear to be capable and normal. Each ways. Some accept it as God's way. Others accept it as a challenge to grow. Some are angry. Some are sad. Most of us bounce back and forth between. We each cope in different ways too. Some advocate. Some scream. Some hide behind humor. Some silently accept. Some use their spouses as whipping boards. (As well as any other person who happens to be close.) It's a mixed up, jumbled up mess whenever you try to figure out what or how you are handling this. Most of us never actually figure it out. We just continue to plod along, hurdling each new obstacle as it arises. Never fully understanding exactly what it is that drives us. Perhaps it's better that we don't know. Sometimes I have moments of startling clarity. The other night while talking to a bunch of friends, someone said that it was okay to scream. Most did their best jungle scream, but I couldn't. The conversation had been about kids and Christmas. I shared with this group that Christmas was the worst for me because my youngest couldn't see all the lights. Somehow her blindness always seems worse during this season when the full impact of blindness and all it entails really tears at my heart.
Suddenly I knew there is a silent, constant scream within me. I do my best to muffle its vibrations. I keep busy. I do what has to be done. I advocate. I write. I try to keep the scream buried. Sometimes I think I fear that if I do scream, I will never be able to stop. Some people may say that I still haven't totally accepted my child's disability. Maybe I haven't. Maybe I never will. Maybe the scream is my way of not accepting. Who knows? Many of you will understand what I am trying to convey here. I'm sure many adults with disabilities also have the silent scream within. It's caused by all the unfairness and frustration that always tags along with disabilities. It's the force, the adrenaline, the vibration that keeps us moving, whether it be in mind or in body. It can be channeled into constructive areas or it can lead straight to destruction. The person who feels it must make the choice--whether to scream aloud or to continue to scream silently

1. Figuring out ways to cope with the problem

2. Notes:  A constant scream conceptualizes the emotional strain and pull having a special needs child can entail.  Although, she has an enduring love for her child she can’t help but to feel constant frustration that her daughter’s blindness brings, only because she knows she will never experience life or the world like other children.

3. COMMENT:  This passage basically says to me that each must deal with their situation in their own way.

4. I feel this lady but this situation goes far beyond just her and children with disabilities. We all want to scream out or hold a scream in from the pressure of work, school, family, etc. I always feel like screaming or crying and sometimes I do and some times I don’t. ‘You just have to roll with the punches’ as my mom would say and I think that this is what this woman is trying to do in this narrative.

5. We can’t control what happens a lot of times but we can control how we think about what happens.

6. Well, I would probably scream aloud a couple of times, and then I would try to accept things and move forward. 

7. This reflection brings back that we are different in the way we view the life of autistic children. We don’t see the pain that they hold on the inside that silent scream that we cannot hear. It makes me think that I wish there was more that I can do to help that person.

8. Response: This is a good picture of the different ways in which people deal with problems in their lives, “whether to scream aloud or to continue to scream silently.” I think everyone makes decisions on a daily basis about how to respond to life.

9. This mom sees the different way parents cope with their child’s disability (humor, anger, etc.). I only wish that everyone could see that people deal with things differently. Though it may be foreign, they obviously depend on that particular way to get through.

10.  Deals with the unfairness, frustration, and the uncertainty that goes with people that have children with disabilities. 

11. Mother’s perspective. Has not accepted child’s disability. Doesn’t understand what drives her.

12. Constantly screaming whether inside or out, it’s a release we all do.  How we release differs with each of us but I can only imagine dealing daily with a special needs child and what kind of screams may build up within.

13. Mine: The frustrations are real. It is hard to know exactly how these people feel, without experiencing it ourselves.

14. This narrative Showed me how people handle things in their own way. What works for some does not work for all.

15. Everyone is different and has different ways of coping and handling situations. Personally if I had the chance to scream, I probably would and then I would move on.

16. Interesting way to look at it.  I agree with the people that said she hasn't accepted her child's disability yet.  I think her "silent scream" will end up causeing a melt down at some point in her life.

17. SCREAM ALOUD.  You’ll feel much better.

10. No Longer Alone
Written April 10 1996
Copyright 1996, Lori Kutnink
http://www.ctf.org/cgi-bin/bb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=002477

I stood at the fork in the road and I could no longer move. I could feel a
loss from within. I felt so alone.

I felt weakend and then I felt a kindered spirit, but I could not see it. I
some how felt a small speck of hope.

I felt ashamed of my failures and then I felt a gentle hand reach to me and
touch my shoulder, but I could not see it. I some how knew I was not alone

I felt fear of the unknown, and then I felt a hand take mine. But I could
see no one. I somehow knew I could face the fear now.

I felt drained and withered, and then I felt a hug. I could see no one
around me. But I knew now I could go on.

I shed a tear and it rolled down my cheek. And then I felt a tear of
another. But I saw no one. I felt I could be whole again

I walked forwared and I knew I would not walk alone. I heard the whispers of
many in my ear "We are here."

1. The reader is realizing that autism is a condition that a lot of people face. There is help and support out there for parents

2. Notes:  I’m not to sure what this poem is trying to convey.  Maybe that she is feels alone in her journey sometimes?  But, she knows she is not alone and that whatever journey she may be on she won’t make it alone.

3. COMMENT: This passage somehow seems to relate to all of these narratives.  It shows how the community of special-needs parents are here to help one another and realize that they are not alone.

4. This poem is like the Footprints poem about Jesus “One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was
walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the
sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he
noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one
belonging to him, and the other to the Lord. When
the last scene of his life flashed before him, he
looked back at the footprints in the sand. He
noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed
that it happened at the very lowest and saddest
times in his life. This really bothered him and he
questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, You said that
once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all
the way. But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life, there is only one set
of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed
you most you would leave me." The Lord replied,
"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would
never leave you. During your times of trial and
suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it
was then that I Carried You." This poem is exceptional just like the one written by Lori.

5. Another poem about hope, a beautiful thing. 

6. Feeling alone is probably a big part of one’s life when having a child with disabilities.  Faith in a higher power—to lean on God would be a great comfort.  To me, it would be a great feeling to know that I wasn’t alone with my “problem.”

7. You know the parents of special children must feel this way. There has to be a time in life where they must feel the same feelings that this person must have felt. There are times that they feel down, but this goes to prove that God is watching over them and will help them through any problem they face.

8. Response: I think this dose a good job of describing how parents often feel alone. I can imagine that this is especially true for parents of special needs children. But I think the author came to realize that her child is with her in this journey and she is not alone.

9. * Awesome! This reminds me of some scripture that I always find comfort in: Isaiah 41:10 and 13. We’ve all been through trials and needed that hope. Without it, it’s almost impossible to go on.

10. In a spiritual sense, this poem gives hope and reasoning to people that live day-to-day with a disabled child.  They are not alone, but rather experiencing the same emotions and feelings that many people with disabled children go through.  

11. Mother’s perspective. Idea of not being alone. Sharing her pain with others.

12. We must realize that others have faced our fears and difficulties before us and succeeded.

13. Mine: We can always find someone who does know what we are going through. A reminder that we need to be aware of others and help when we can.

14. I feel that this poem tells us that no matter what the situation we are never alone. That someone is there even if we don’t see them.

15. Everyone is different and has different ways of coping and handling situations. Personally if I had the chance to scream, I probably would and then I would move on.

16. Poem again.  Not really sure what she is saying besides she thought she was alone but isn't.

17. I wish they had explained more about the kindered spirit.

11. Isn't She Talking Yet
by India Knight
http://timesonline.typepad.com/india_knight/reader_stories/index.html

We have a daughter with an unusual chromosomal disorder and Asperger's syndrome-she is now 26 and living semi-independently. Over the yeas she has brought us both enormous joy and also feelings of despair. However, all is well-she is now happy working part-time in a charity shop and our family and marriage have survived these difficulties.

I just want to pass on one tiny bit of advice for new parents of a child with special needs, which may be helpful. I used to find my daughter' birthday party very sad when she was little because it high-lighted how far behind her peers she had fallen - developmentally. After a couple of traumatic years when I did what people normally do - that is, invite her contemporaries to her party and watch them crawling, speaking, walking and doing everything way in advance of her - I then decided to have a party inviting children and adults of all ages - grannies, older cousins, siblings' friends, favourite people etc etc. It made the whole occasion far easier and happier.

The other thing which I wish i had been more aware of is how difficult it was for her sisters. They were both brilliant and very helpful, but my 'special' daughter took up so much time, energy, brain-space etc etc that I feel we under-estimated how over-shadowed the others were. Often there is not much one can do about this, but being aware is a step in the right direction. A psychologist once told us to stop trying to do everything as a family, and give more time to each child individually. This was very helpful advice."

1. There is hope. Learning how to deal with the situation by having family and friends help support
The reader has good advice. A parent of a child with autism needs to remember that they should take out time for each individual child.

2. Notes:  I like how this mother proves that you can make it to the light at the end of the tunnel, it may be a different path, but it is just as rewarding.  Also, the advice, to parents with special needs children and mentally normal children, seems like it could really help other mothers in that situation.  You don’t want them to feel like anyone else is more important than the other.

3. COMMENT: makes me realize it’s not just about the special-needs child.

4. This mother gives good tips and advice that can be applied to families with multiple children period not just ones who have a disabled child.

5. am not a parent but this seems like wonderful advice.  I try to do the same thing for the students in my ministry.  People need individual attention to grow and reach their full potential.  –

6. It would be hard for me to take care of a special needs child and still give attention to my other children.  I really do not know how people do it.  Sometimes I think that the other children do get pushed out of the picture. 

7.  That’s true…to a certain point. I agree that a certain level of independence can help the development of a child to better themselves in today’s society. I also think that they should still get to experience the parties and the other social events that other children get to attend. By doing these things, it can help them develop more socially and possibly intelligently.

8. Response: I think this highlights the special needs of the entire family and not just the child, certainly everyone in the family must be considered. Good advice.

9.  I totally agree with the whole birthday thing. Whether a “special need” exists or doesn’t, people utterly miss the importance of family and close friends. Many people, especially parents, put so much stock into friends and “fitting in”. Who cares? Be who you are. As my mother always says, “Friends come and go, but family is always here.”  

10. Making aware that although, a person does have a special needs child, other siblings can suffer from not receiving attention as well.  Making time for each child through their developmental years is crucial.

11. Mother’s Perspective. Find time for all children not just ‘special’ ones.

12. The balance in a special needs family is extremely difficult trying to care for the “normal” children while always tending to the “special” child. How do you maintain “normal” for the family while caring for the “special” of the family?  Is it possible to keep normal, normal?

13. Mine: There may be and often is more than one remedy to getting through difficulties in life. Sometimes we may overcompensate. 

14. The child is now 26 years old and I love to see that no matter how hard things got while growing up everything turned out ok.

15. I think that this is great advice for parents with special needs children. I totally agree that “being aware is a step in the right direction” and that you should give attention to each child, special or not.

16. I agree with her.  One can't ignore the other children because of a special needs child.  She actually is soultion oritentated which I like.

17. It’s hard enough being a sibling in any normal situation.  I feel for the overshadowed sisters in this one.

12. I am for mothers 
© Michelle Guppy
http://stevens_mom.tripod.com/id7.html

I am the little engine that did. When on my journey in life, my tracks led me to a mountain - a diagnosis of Autism - I looked at it with defeat - thinking there was no way I could climb over it. I then pondered the obstacle before me, and I then said to myself over and over, "I think I can, I think I can...," then I slowly started climbing the mountain saying to myself over and over, "I know I can, I know I can,...." and then I made it over that ominous diagnosis of Autism and continued my journey. I am the little engine that did.

I am more devoted than Noah's wife. I am cooped up in this "houseboat" for 365 days and 365 nights a year, constantly taking care of and cleaning up after my "herd of animals." And when the storms of isolation and monotony become most unbearable, I do not jump ship. Instead I wait for the rainbow that is sure to come.

I am Xena. Real life warrior goddess of Autism. With my steel plated armor I can fight anyone who gets in the way of progress for my child. I can fight the stares and ignorance of typpies - those without autism in their lives - and educate them as to why my child is the way he is, and why he does the things he does. I can fight the schools to have them properly educate my child. And I can fight denied insurance claims to get coverage for my child. Yes, I am Xena - and I am armed for battle...

I am Betsy Ross. I am part of History by my contribution to the Autism Awareness Quilt -- many pieces of fabric representing many states, stitched together, that will collectively symbolize Freedom. Freedom from the lack of information about Autism, Freedom from not knowing what causes Autism, and Freedom from the lack of funding and research to treat, overcome, and live with - Autism. Like Betsy's piece of fabric, my piece of fabric will someday sit in a museum, for others to see my 12.5 x 12.5 inch memorial of a battle well fought. Whether my child is "cured" in my lifetime does not matter, in the end what will matter to me and to my child, is that I never surrendered.

I am the Bionic Woman. I have X-Ray vision - I can see through the mask of autism on my child's face, and see the beauty in his soul and the intelligence in his eyes --- when others can't. I have super-hearing - I can look at my child when he smiles at me, and hear his voice say, "I Love You Mommy," --- even though he can't talk. Yes, I am thankful to be Bionic.

I am Mary. A not so well known mother of an Autistic child who was brought here to touch the souls of those around him, in a way that will forever change them. And it started with me. By teaching me things I would never have known, by bringing me friendships I never would have had, and by opening my eyes as to what really matters in life. Things like keeping the Faith, never losing Hope, and knowing a Love that that words cannot express. Yes, I too am blessed by a special child, just like Mary.

I am Superwoman. I am able to leap over tall loads of laundry in a single bound, and run faster than a speeding bullet, to chase my child as he dashes out the front door and heads for the busy street. Oh yes, without a doubt, I am Superwoman.

I am Moses. I am doing my part in leading other parents and society to more awareness, knowledge, and resources, and most of all - Faith. Like Moses did, I too, will sometimes meet with resistance from those who don't believe. And like Moses, God will give me the small Miracles here and there, needed to accomplish my mission.

I am Stretch Armstrong - a mom that can be stretched beyond belief - and still somehow return to normal. I can stretch limited funds to cover every treatment and therapy that insurance won't. I can stretch my patience as I explain my child's biomedical issues with yet another uneducated doctor. I can stretch what time I have, and share it with my husband, my
children, my church, and still have some leftover to help others. Yes, my name is Stretch. And I have the stretch-marks to prove it!

I am Rosa Parks. I refuse to move or waver in what I believe is right for my child --simply because my view is the minority, not the majority. I refuse to believe "What can one mother do?" But instead, I will write, call, and rally to the government, and do whatever it takes to bring equality for my child.

I am Hercules. The Greek god known for strength and courage. The heavy loads I must carry would make others crumble to the ground. The weight of Sorrow, Fear at uncertainty of the future, Injustice at having no answers, and from Tears of despair, would alone possibly be too much, --- even for Hercules. But then the Joy, Laughter, Smiles, and Tears of pride, - at my child's accomplishments, - balance the load to make it easy to bear.

I am touched by an Angel. An Angel who is often described as living in a world of his own. And it's true. He lives in a world of innocence and purity. A world without hatred or deceit. A world where everyone is beautiful and where no-one is ugly. A world where there is always enough time. A world where he goes to bed with no worries of tomorrow and wakes up with no regrets of the past. Yes, I most certainly am touched by an Angel, and I sometimes think that his world is better....

I am a mom of a special needs child, all the above, and so much more. Somedays I will want to be none of the above - and just be a typical mom with a typical child, doing typical things. On those days I will know it's o.k. to be angry, and to cry, and to lean on my friends for support. Because after all, ---the most important thing I am, ..... is human.

1. This person is explaining their feeling in a positive way.

2. Notes:  This mother compares herself to all kinds of heroes, which I would think is another way to keep moving ahead.  She is all of these things, but most important she is human and humans get angry and make mistakes, but she knows she has accomplished so much more than she ever thought possible.

3. COMMENT: Never give up in the battle of your child’s disorder.

4. This is the best one so far. The way the author encompassed herself in each person is awesome. This poem demonstrates how we all have a little bit of somebody else deep down inside us both good and bad we just have to choose who to embrace and she embraced all of the strong and wonderful people inside of her.

5. It’s okay to experience emotions of anger and sadness.  The important thing to remember is that it is okay to be yourself, and to not be super mom.  Be the best YOU can be.  –

6. I really like this passage.  It illustrates the strength and commitment it takes to raise a special needs child.  I believe that there are many mothers, whether they have autistic children or “normal” children, can be considered when talking about the examples in this essay. 

7. I really like this piece. I love all the comparisons that she makes. A mother would feel the shoes of all these characters mentioned. She has to fill all these roles in order to become the perfect mother of a special child.

8. Response: This highlights all of the many roles fulfilled by mothers, especially mothers of special needs children. The last sentence is revealing “the most important thing I am….is human.” This is an important point, because I can imagine that sometimes parents of special needs children feel as if they are loosing their identity, it is important to remind themselves and us that they are, after everything else, completely human.

9. I love her! She’s so honest and positive and full of life and…all of the above.

10. Mothers are strong, unbreakable, powerful…but a person with feelings and emotions.

11. Mother’s perspective. War analogy “armed for battle,” “I never surrendered”. Idea of being blessed with a special needs child. She is a lot of things, but mostly---human.

12. Mothers, in general, are known for their being “all” in so many forms.  A mother of a special needs child would have to be so many and so much more in order to balance the entire family and still be part of the community in which they live.

13. Mine: The mother wears many hats, not only in this case, but in all situations. This is a really good description of what it takes to be this special parent of a special needs child. 

14. The mother in this narrative had a no quit attitude. When we think of strength we think of large muscle men that can lift a lot of weight. This mother shows a great example of strength. On her inside the muscle.

15. I’m loving this one! I like how she compares herself to soo many different people and then to superheroes as well. I like how she was positive and uplifting. Mothers in general no matter if they are raising a normal or special child have to fill out every role possible to be the best mother possible!

16. Well, this woman is a lot of things.  I am glad that she has learned to cope with her child.  I really didn't like this paticular narrative, but I'm sure it spoke to someone.

17. I like the comparisons to other people and the return to “I am Mary, a not-so well known mother of an autistic child.”

13. Mothers who get something more
Lori Borgman
http://stevens_mom.tripod.com/id7.html

Expectant mothers waiting for a newborn's arrival say they don't care what sex the baby is. They just want it to have ten fingers and ten toes.

Mothers lie.

Every mother wants so much more. She wants a perfectly healthy baby with a round head, rosebud lips, button nose, beautiful eyes and satin skin. She wants a baby so gorgeous that people will pity the Gerber baby for being flat-out ugly.

She wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take those first steps right on schedule (according to the baby development chart on page 57, column two). Every mother wants a baby that can see, hear, run, jump and fire neurons by the billions. She wants a kid that can smack the ball out of the park and do toe points that are the envy of the entire ballet class. Call it greed if you want, but a mother wants what a mother wants. Some mothers get babies with something more.

Maybe you're one who got a baby with a condition you couldn't pronounce, a spine that didn't fuse, a missing chromosome or a palette that didn't close. The doctor's words took your breath away. It was just like the time at recess in the fourth grade when you didn't see the kick ball coming and it knocked the wind right out of you.

Some of you left the hospital with a healthy bundle, then, months, even years later, took him in for a routine visit, or scheduled her for a well check, and crashed head first into a brick wall as you bore the brunt of devastating news. It didn't seem possible. That didn't run in your family. Could this really be happening in your lifetime?

I watch the Olympics for the sheer thrill of seeing finely sculpted bodies. It's not a lust thing, it's a wondrous thing. They appear as specimens without flaw -- muscles, strength and coordination all working in perfect harmony. Then an athlete walks over to a tote bag, rustles through the contents and pulls out an inhaler.

There's no such thing as a perfect body. Everybody will bear something at some time or another. Maybe the affliction will be apparent to curious eyes, or maybe it will be unseen, quietly treated with trips to the doctor, therapy or surgery. Mothers of children with disabilities live the limitations with them.

Frankly, I don't know how you do it. Sometimes you mothers scare me. How you lift that kid in and out of the wheelchair twenty times a day. How you monitor tests, track medications, and serve as the gatekeeper to a hundred specialists yammering in your ear.

I wonder how you endure the cliches and the platitudes, the well-intentioned souls explaining how G-d is at work when you've occasionally questioned if G-d is on strike. I even wonder how you endure schmaltzy columns like this one -- saluting you, painting you as hero and saint, when you know you're ordinary. You snap, you bark, you bite. You didn't volunteer for this, you didn't jump up and down in the motherhood line yelling, "Choose me, G-d. Choose me! I've got what it takes."

You're a woman who doesn't have time to step back and put things in perspective, so let me do it for you. From where I sit, you're way ahead of the pack. You've developed the strength of a draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil. You have a heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box in July, counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an Ozark mule.

You are the mother, advocate and protector of a child with a disability. You're a neighbor, a friend, a woman I pass at church and my sister-in-law. You're a wonder.

You can read more by Lori Borgman at
http://www.loriborgman.com

1. Being realistic a parent wants their child to be perfect in everyway. The reader is praising mother that sacrifice and dedicate their time and efforts with their child.

2. Notes:  This is a tribute to those mothers who have special needs children and don’t realize the extent of their inspiration.  It’s hard to imagine what is going through their heads when they get up each day to face the same things they did the day before.  At the beginning I liked how she said mothers lie, because that is so true.  All mothers want their children to be this picture of excellence.

3. COMMENT: This passage made me think of the reality of the chances of giving birth to a child with special needs.

4. This lady seems as if she may harbor some resent toward God and the path that he has put her on. She seems like she is trying to make progress but still has a long way to go. I commend this author for her honest about the way she feels in her situation.

5. The women that deal with these special need children truly are amazing people that deserve a lot more love and recognition. –

6. It is amazing what people can do.  Raising a special needs child is a great challenge in life; however, God will never put a load to heavy to bear.  We might be surprised what at we can do

7. It’s true. We all want a child who I perfect in everyway, but we know that impossible. Even the finest athlete could have asthma. So when we have a child with certain needs we must realize that no child is perfect so we must take it one step at a time and learn from our experience.

8. Response: This article puts into perspective the power possessed by parents of special needs children. It highlights the strength it takes to show the love that is needed day in and day out.

9. I like the Gerber baby comment (just for fun). She really brings home the strength of the moms that are tested by these diseases on a daily basis. And I also think that she is a huge tool to the special needs community because she understands. She doesn’t deal with these problems on a day-to-day basis but she is very close to someone who does. She sees what she has to experience and go through, so therefore she can relate when she sees others out in society that have a relation to her sister-in-law.

10. They are survivors, mentors, and prideful.

11. Sister-in-law perspective (outsider—not in the ‘club’).  Woman’s perspective. “Mothers of children with disabilities live the limitations” (just mothers, what about fathers or families??)

12. This writing only begins the true trooper a mother of disabilities must be.

13. Mine: Beautifully told.

14. You are the mother, advocate and protector of a child with a disability. You're a neighbor, a friend, a woman I pass at church and my sister-in-law. You're a wonder.

15. Honestly, I don’t know how these mothers do it! I hope that I am as strong as they are when I have children - special or normal.

16. This was prase for women raising children with disabilities.  It is pretty much the same thing that I've been reading this whole time.  I do feel sorry for these people and what they have to endure.  I have read about people that are content, angry, bitter, blessed, etc..   Not really sure what you want me to say differently about 20 people with the same problems and feelings.

17. I like that she says some mothers get more.  Referring to the mother’s wish list.

14. Where Are the Parents?
Adapted from a paper By Sue Stuyvesant -The author of this adapted version wishes to remain anonymous.
http://stevens_mom.tripod.com/id7.html

Where Are the Parents?

They are on the phone to doctors and hospitals, fighting with insurance companies, wading through the red tape in order that their child's medical needs can be properly addressed.

They are buried under a mountain of paperwork and medical bills, trying to make sense of a system that seems designed to confuse and intimidate all but the very savvy.  They are weary because everyone says they cannot help them, and oh, Autism is excluded from your health insurance policy because it is a psychological problem, not a physiological problem.

Where are the parents?

They are on the phone to school districts, teachers, special education administrators, trying to get what is just for their children.   They are buried under a mountain of regulations and lawsthat purport to help them, but just serve to confuse them.  They are trying to become school house lawyers just to get what the law already says they are their rights.  They try to explain why it is not acceptable for Johnny or Mary to sit in the chair without stimulation for four hours a day, or why circle time is just not something that a child with autism can understand.

Where are the parents?

They are at home, diapering their 6 year old son.  They are chasing their child, who does not understand the need to eat, or who is allergic to food, because of the exorbitant behavior the allergies to food bring on.  They spend hours trying to convince a child to eat that has no interest.  They are administering medications, hoping and wondering if there is anything that science will do to help.

Where are the parents?

They are sitting, bleary eyed and exhausted, in hospital emergency rooms, waiting for tests results to come back and wondering: is this the time when my child doesn't pull through?

It seems that Johnny ran out into the road because he did not know any better.

Where are the parents?

They are incapacitated, after the sleeping aid the doctor prescribed for Johnny had the opposite effect, and caused the child to stay up for 10 strait days. Somehow, they were not able to come to the meeting.

Where are the parents?

They are home reading books about behaviorism and psychology, hoping to learn enough to make some difference in their child's lives, because the professionals have told them that discreet trial or 40 hours a week of intense behavioral intervention is not appropriate for a child. "The child needs to play" they say  but the child does not know how to play. "The child needs to socialize" they say, but the child does not know how to play.

Where are the parents?

They are sleeping in shifts because their child won't sleep more than 2 or 3 hours a night, and must constantly be watched, lest he do himself, or another member of the family, harm.  They have not slept in years.  They are sitting at home with their child because family and friends are either too intimidated or too unwilling to help with child care and the state agencies that are designed to help are suffering cut backs of there own.

Where are the parents?

They are trying to spend time with their non-disabled children, as they try to make up for the extra time and effort that is critical to keeping their disabled child alive.  They are struggling to keep a marriage together, because adversity does not always bring you closer.  They are working 2 and sometime 3 jobs in order to keep up with the extra expenses.  They cannot make the meeting because it was only acceptable to the professionals to hold it during the day, when the parent has to be at work. There is no vacation left, or sick days. And sometimes they are a single parent struggling to do it all by themselves.

Where are the parents?

They are trying to survive in a society that pays lip service to helping those in need, as long as it doesn't cost them anything. They are trying to patch their broken dreams together so thatthey might have some sort of normal life for their children and their families.

1. Parents have a lot of roles. Who to say that the roles are similar

2. Notes:  This explains how much time you have to spend on children with special needs cost parents.  Their lives are devoted to the well-being of their child.  The strain it can put on parents is unbelievable.

3. COMMENT: shows how hard life is with a special-needs child.

4. This person is obviously upset with hand that life has dealt them. Its understandable but in this type of situation the only thing I could say to do is to pray and pray hard. This poem almost makes you angry because you think well what if this was me? I would be dammed mad too!

5. Powerful, yet repetitive to all the other poems and narratives so far.  I feel sorry for these women and to be honest, I hope I am never a parent that ever experiences anything like this.  I am amazed by how little help these people get.

6. Obviously raising a special needs child is exhausting, time-consuming, and expensive. 

7. I can answer this question with one simple answer. Because God has called us to raise our children to the best of our abilities and by raising them up in Him alone. That is why we are parents.

8. Response: This article articulates what all good parents should be doing and how they should be behaving. Whether they are the parents of special needs children or not, all parents should seek the very best for their children.

9. This is a really sad narrative that relates the toll taken on the parents. Their lives revolve around this one human being. They have no escape.

10. Pertains to parents that are coping, existing, and living while mastering normalcy.

11. Mother’s perspective. Difficulty of keeping a marriage together, “adversity does not always bring you closer”. Spending time with non-disabled children.

12. Normal life is like a three ring circus, Life with a special needs child is more like a 6 ring circus with few clowns and to many Lions.

13. Mine: What do these parents have to look forward to? Life is a blur and yet life drags on. Day after day is met with confusion and disappointment. There are enough good moments that make it worthwhile on occasion.

14. The parent in this letter has a lot on their plate. They show the tough side of raising a special needs child. I hope that their outlook gets better.

15. Gee! I cant imagine raising a child with special needs, its already hard enough raising children that are “normal”.

16. This narrative explains some of the problems that parents have with their children.  And addresses the "parenting" issues that other "itailians" have with parents not "disciplining their children corectly".  I liked it.

17. This is a good insight for those who honestly do not understand.

15. Autism and Holiday Gatherings ~ Viki Gayhardt
http://stevens_mom.tripod.com/id7.html

Dear Family and Friends:

I understand that we will be visiting each other for the holidays this year! Sometimes these visits can be very hard for me, but here is some information that might help our visit to be more successful.

As you probably know, I am challenged by a hidden disability called autism or what some people refer to as a pervasive developmental disorder (PDD).

Autism/PDD is a neurodevelopmental disorder which makes it hard for me to understand the environment around me. I have barriers in my brain that you can't see but which make it difficult for me to adapt to my surroundings.

Sometimes I may seem rude and abrupt, but it is only because I have to try so hard to understand people and at the same time, make myself understood. People with autism have different abilities: some may not speak, some write beautiful poetry. Others are whizzes in math (Albert Einstein was thought to be autistic), or have difficulty making friends. We are all different and need various degrees of support.

Sometimes when I am touched unexpectedly, it might feel painful and make me want to run away. I get easily frustrated, too. Being with lots of other people is like standing next to a moving freight train and trying to decide how and when to jump aboard. I feel frightened and confused a lot of the time, like you would if you landed on an alien planet and didn't understand how the inhabitants communicated. This is why I need to have things the same as much as possible. Once I learn how things happen, I can get by ok. But if something, anything changes, then I have to relearn the situation all over again! It is very hard.

When you try to talk to me, I often can't understand what you say because there is a lot of distraction around. I have to concentrate very hard to hear and understand one thing at a time. You might think I am ignoring you--I am not. Rather, I am hearing everything and not knowing what is most important to respond to.

Holidays are exceptionally hard because there are so many different people, places and things going on that are out of my ordinary realm. This may be fun and adventurous for most people, but for me, it's very hard work and can be extremely stressful.

I often have to get away from all the commotion to calm down. It would be great if you had a private place set up to where I could retreat.

If I cannot sit at the meal table, do not think I am misbehaved or that my parents have no control over me. Sitting in one place for even 5 minutes is often impossible for me. I feel so antsy and overwhelmed by all the smells, sounds, and people--I just have to get up and move about. Please don't hold up your meal for me--go on without me and my parents will handle the situation the best way they know.

Eating in general is hard for me. If you understand that autism is a sensory processing disorder, it's no wonder eating is a problem! Think of all the senses involved with eating: sight, smell, taste, touch AND all the complicated mechanics that are involved with chewing and swallowing that a lot of people with autism have trouble with. I am not being picky -- I literally cannot eat certain food as my sensory system and/or oral motor coordination are impaired.

Don't be disappointed if mommy hasn't dressed me in starch and bows. It's because she knows how much stiff and frilly clothes can drive me buggy! I have to feel comfortable in my clothes or I will just be miserable! Temple Grandin, a very smart adult with autism, has taught people that when she had to wear stiff petticoats as a child, she felt like her skin was being rubbed with sandpaper. I often feel the same way in dressy clothes.

When I go to someone else's house, I may appear bossy and controlling. In a sense, I am being controlling because that is how I try to fit into the world around me (which is so hard to figure out!) Things have to be done in a way I am familiar with or else I might get confused and frustrated. It doesn't mean you have to change the way you are doing things -- just please be patient with me and understanding of how I have to cope...mom and dad have no control over how my autism makes me feel inside.

People with autism often have little things that they do to help themselves feel more comfortable. The grown ups call it "self regulation," or "stimming'. I might rock, hum, flick my fingers in my face, flap my arms or any number of different things. I am not trying to be disruptive or weird. Again, I am doing what I have to do for my brain to adapt to your world.

Sometimes I cannot stop myself from talking, singing, or partaking in an activity. The grown ups call this "perseverating" which is kind of like self-regulation or stimming. I do this only because I have found something to occupy myself that makes me feel comfortable, and I don't want to come out of that comfortable place and join your hard-to-figure-out-world. Perseverative behaviors are good to a certain degree because they help me calm down.

Please be respectful to my mom and dad if they let me "stim" for a while as they know me best and what helps to calm me. Remember that my mom and dad have to watch me much more closely than the average child. This is for my own safety, preservation of your possessions, and to facilitate my integration with you tippies (what we autistics fondly call you neurotypical folk!) It hurts my parents' feelings to be criticized for being over-protective or condemned for not watching me close enough. They are human and have been given an assignment intended for saints. My parents are good people and need your support.

Holidays are filled with sights, sounds, and smells. The average household is turned into a busy, frantic, festive place. Remember that this may be fun for you tippies but it's very hard work for me to conform. If I fall apart or act out in a way that you consider socially inappropriate, please remember that I don't possess the neurological system that is required to follow tippy rules.

I am a unique person--an interesting person. I will find my place at this celebration that is comfortable for us all as long as you'll try to view the world through my eyes!

1. The reader is looking at autism in a way of her perspective. She is trying to explain how this problem would be for her during the holidays, although it could be a lot of fun. It is also a lot of work.

2. Notes:  This is an affective way of showing others what it is like to be autistic and try to fit in the world with all of their conditions.  It’s kind of like an apology, but in the same sense it’s kind of like telling them that they can’t help it and that they are just going to have to deal with it, just like they have to.  They didn’t choose to have this condition.

3. COMMENT:  This gave me insight to some autism jargon that I was not familiar with.

4. This poem is what those with autism would really say if they could tell you what is on there mind. It is amazing the way the author really made you feel as if a person with autism was actually telling you these things. I really enjoyed reading this.

5. Special needs children are very distracting, this probably a large impart to the fact that we don’t train “normal” children from an early age on how to deal with these special children.  –

6. Communicating with autistic children is difficult.  Educators, family, and friends should try to better understand the difficulties of this disease. 

7. A very unique prospective on the outlook of an autistic child. You know I bet all families with an autistic relative wish that their special son or daughter could sit down and write a letter to them explaining exactly how they feel and what to expect.

8. Response: This article highlights the need for us to develop empathy, or the ability to see things from someone else’s perspective. So often we get caught up in our own lives with our small problems, by comparison, that we forget that there is a whole world of people out there who see things, experience things, and live lives completely different than our own.

9.  It’s really interesting to read this in the view of someone with autism. It puts a whole new spin on the situation and stresses why the autistic do the things they do.

10. Seeing the world through an autistic person eyes while providing tips and information about this condition.  Making people aware. 

11. Autistic person’s perspective. Trying to put into words the actuality of this disease. What does autism look like on a daily basis? Autistic people get “confused,” “frustrated”. How do you cope with an autistic person?

12. Trying to understand autism at all is hard to fathom even when looking at it through the eyes of the holder.  I can’t imagine my most uncomfortable day, three fold, repeating itself over and over.

13. Mine: We must realize that we don’t have a clue as to what is going on in the brain of an autistic child. It seems like a very, very scary place. This brings great realization to the simple being extremely difficult for them to adapt to.

14. Out of all the poems and narratives this one speaks from the childes point of view. This made me connect with the child so much more. I feel that we don’t treat special needs kids like human beings sometimes. This letter really helps with humanizing special needs children.

15. It’s really sad to read why children with Autism do the things the do. But I think that if we better understood Autism we could become better communicators and maybe it would make life just a little bit easier.

16. This was great.  The best narrative so far.  I learned more from this writing then all the others combined.

17. I like the approach this narrative takes.  It’s personal and informative.

16. Just For This Day
©Sally Meyer ~ 1998
http://stevens_mom.tripod.com/id7.html

1
Just for this morning I am going to smile when I see your face, and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning I will let you wake up softly in your flannel p.j.'s and hold you until you are ready to stir.
Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and I will say how beautiful you are.
Just for this morning I will step over the laundry to pick you up, and take you to the park to play.
Just for this morning I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle together.
Just for this afternoon I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the garden blowing bubbles.
Just for this afternoon I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck and I will buy you one, if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon I wont worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or how you might have been before your diagnosis.
Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me make cookies, and I won't stand over you. . . trying to 'fix things.
Just for this afternoon, I will take you to McDonalds and buy us both a 'Happy Meal' So you can have two toys.
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you the story of how you were born, and how much we love you.

2
Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the bathtub, and I won't get angry when you your water over your sisters head.
Just for this evening I will let you stay up late, while we sit on the porch swing and count all the stars.
Just for this evening I will bring you glasses of water, and snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite t.v. show.
Just for this evening when I kneel down to pray, I will simply be grateful for all that I have, and not ask for anything,
Except ...
Just one more day.

1. Everyday is a struggle, but parents are still pushing to make everyday count.

2. Notes:  This mother goes through the same frustrations everyday, but understands that her attitude is just as important to her child’s development. 

3. COMMENT:  seems like something one might say to self to stay sane.

4. This one confuses me a bit. I cannot tell whether author has embraced or rejected the child… I have mixed feelings about this one.

5. Very touching!  Sacrifice. 

6. It takes a lot of love to raise a disabled child.  That is obvious after reading this poem.

7. I’ll make this short and sweet like the poem. We sometimes have to show our kids how we “feel” rather than how we actually feel deep inside.

8. Response: Beautiful. This is the attitude with which all of us should approach out children with, enjoy the moment, rather than expending energy on the past or the future. I think this illustrates the patience which must be exhibited by parents with special needs children, learning to take it one day at a time.

9. There are so many distractions today that we let ourselves get caught up in. The parent above had to make some sacrifices, like not getting the house clean or missing her tv show. But she realized how limited her time with her child is. Even though this child has a disability, it is still this woman’s child. She love him/her just like any other parent loves their “normal” child. But she realizes the importance of spending as much time as possible with her child, whereas others often take it for granted.

10. Acceptance and living for your children is all that matters in this world.

11. Mother’s perspective. simply be grateful” ---the idea of being grateful for gifts received

12. All too often we forget the important things in life because we are to busy complaining.  How much better would life be if we would slow down and be thankful for the day and gifts we have been given?

13. Mine: The relationship the parent has with the child appears to be greatly cherished. Maybe one that stays very close when other parent/child relationships may not.

14. I feel that the parent has found out what is the most important part of being a parent, and that is to not focus on what you can do for your child but focus on your child. 

15. How sweet! I really liked this one! The relationship between a mother and her child is the greatest gift God can give.

16. Like I have said, this people are frustrated and trying the best they know how to deal with a situation that nobody knows how to handle.  I will have more compassion and understanding next time I see a child acting up because they might have a mental problem.

17. All of those things are so hard to do.  That is one self-less person.

17. I WAS LIKE YOU.......ONCE (for Dhylan)
©Sally Meyers
http://stevens_mom.tripod.com/id7.html

If you see me at the supermarket,
And my child is screaming, rolling on the floor
With anger seeping from his pores.
Please don't blame me, I was like you once.

If you are in a restaurant and my child throws food
And it hits you in the face, please, don't be angry,
I can't handle any more rage.

If you see my child climbing over a very tall fence
With nothing on except his hat.
Please don't call the police, I only looked away for a minute.

If you see me crying, as you pull up next to me at a stop light,
At a busy intersection, honk and smile, I need a friend.

If you see me, running down the street with curlers in my hair
Chasing a small child who runs so fast, I can't catch him
Help me chase him down.

If my child grabs your child, or pushes him or bites or
Kicks him, or says words that make your hair curl,
Please forgive him, and me too.

If you happen to see us, walking in your neighbourhood,
Or in the malls, or at the park,

Please don't turn away,
I was like you once.

1. Don’t judge Don’t judge Don’t judge Don’t judge, she is crying out for help. Don’t judge Don’t judge

2. Notes:  This mother is looking for some kind of sympathy from others who don’t understand her everyday troubles.  She didn’t ask for this, how can you blame her?  She just needs a little sympathy. 

3. COMMENT: makes me see how many parents are “begging” for acceptance in an un-accepting world.

4. This is one of those things that make you go hmm… This child sound like he or she might need a good old fashion whipping or a new age time out; I’m not to sure but I guess under the circumstances since the author asks so politely all can be forgiven…even the food in the face.lol

5. Don’t be so arrogant to think this could not happen to you.

6. I’m sure that one of the hardest things about raising a special needs child is trying to fit in with society.  I often make remarks about how mothers are treating their children in public, or how the children need more discipline.  It usually doesn’t cross my mind that the child has a disability.  We should all be more aware of others situations before judging them first I suppose.

7. I bet all parents with autistic children could read this to the rest of the parents. I really like the last line; it shows that these types of parents are just as normal as everyone else.

8. Response: Again this illustrates the need for empathy on behalf of those of us who do not have special needs children for those who do. Not only empathy, but involvement.

9. We want others to accept us in this world. Why would a special needs parent or child feel any different? Everyone needs help and a friend, or just a nice smile. Maybe if we gave the help, became that friend, or smiled that smile, someone’s day would be easier and brighter.

10. Life-changing. 

11. Mother’s perspective

Craves compassion and understanding

12. I have been wrong so many times for the stares and walking away I have done.  I often, unintentionally, stare or ignore people because of their disabilities forgetting that their humans just like me blessed by GOD with a special gift.

13. Mine: A reminder that we need to be aware of the struggles of other people. We cannot just assume that the parent is not being a good parent. Take a moment to consider that they are in a very difficult circumstance.

14. This poem does a great job of informing its reader about life with special needs children. I also like the way the writer asks for help with out asking for help.   

15. Just because people are different than you are, doesn’t give you the right to judge.

16. This accuentates the differences and changes that these people have to make when they have autistic children.

17. This person is trying to cope by explaining that they were once like you.  But they ask for respect because they are now different.

18. Every Silver Lining Has a Cloud
by India Knight
http://timesonline.typepad.com/india_knight/reader_stories/index.html

The central problem is seems to me is this: how do you come with daily life am talking about The Aliens-that is, all the people who have no idea what parents like us are going through or how we feel, and-quite understandably, really, because everyone is pre-occupied with their own problems - don't want to know?  Like all parents of severely disabled children, I am consumed by 'anxiety, sorrow and blind terror', as you so eloquently put it.  I don't like to whine or sound self-pitying, so I never talk about how I feel, to anyone. Some friends and family may disagree, but what I've said to them is only the tip of a very deep, very frozen iceberg. 

1. The person copes with their problem by keeping to their self.  People deal with problems different ways. Do not blame the parent because their child has a disability.

2. Note:  This mother feels very alone.  She can’t get her frustrations out to others around her, because they just don’t understand. 

3. COMMENT: people can try to understand, but they never will unless they’re in your shoes

4. This troubles me. The author here can’t be good for the disabled child if she is so down on herself. She needs to see the psychologist right after her child’s appointment. This is another one that needs to pray and pray hard!

5. The sad truth is that nobody wants to be around someone that complains all the time, unless the person receiving the complaints can relate with the issue.  –

6. I will never really understand how it feels to raise a special needs child unless I have one.

7. True again. We only know the “tip of the iceberg” when it comes to raising a special needs child unless you have one.

8. Response: I think, after reading this, that parents of special needs children definitely need a support group or structure, or just someone they can talk to who will try to understand, or at the very least is just a good listener.

9.  I don’t blame this woman for not talking about her feelings. People deal with trials different ways, and this is her way. Two, sometimes not talking about stuff is to your benefit. People don’t understand. They don’t walk and your shoes. And no matter how hard they may try, they can’t possibly comprehend what someone else is going through. Sometimes keeping your feelings bottled up actually saves you heartache.

10. This person is consumed with anxiety, sorrow and fear, but if she complains she feels she will be looked upon in a negative way.  Therefore, she doesn’t talk and shows no emotions. 

11. Mother’s perspective. “Never talk about how I feel” --- not healthy bottling it up

12. I can’t begin to imagine the bottled up emotions that lie with in a parent of a special needs child.  I would figure that they feel they have no one that understands, no one who cares.  Even those who say they care and understand, can they really?  Who do you talk to, release to, vent with?  I can imagine that some of these parents, not all, must feel extremely lonely.

13. Mine: How helpful it would be if we would lend an hour or several hours to someone who just needs to talk. This might give them the strength to carry on for weeks or months.

14. This parent needs to let somethings out, before she becomes callas and hared hearted.    

15. I don’t think that anyone can ever truly understand what a parent with a special needs child goes through. We can try to put ourselves in their shoes, but until we actually have a child with special needs or have any relation can we ever know. All we can do is be supportive and understanding.

16. Hmm.. this person speaks the truth.  I am busy with my own problems and don't want to read/do this assignment because it brings me down.  So i guess I am in the guilty party.  I do feel bad but like he/she said I have my own problems to worry about...

17. This person should write more.  They seem depressed and angry and not handling the situation very well.  I can tell by the title that they have some creative views, I think  putting those things on paper would help.

19. Telling it Like it Is
By Jo Pearson http://timesonline.typepad.com/india_knight/reader_stories/index.html

“I never wanted to be the mother of a special needs child. Well, who does? I didn’t know much about disability, and I came from the sort of family who weren’t very tolerant of it. The disabled kids (Down’s Syndrome, in the main) that I saw in the 1970s were universally
 appallingly and inappropriately dressed. So when I gave birth to my son and he wasn’t ‘normal,’ my first, shameful thought was ‘Oh God, I won’t be able to dress him in anything nice’. How shallow is that?

1. She did not know what to expect

2. Notes:  I like how honest she is, because I’m sure to some certain degree a lot of mothers think that way.  It’s not necessarily shallow, it’s understandable.  You have to be fully aware that your child isn’t going to be like other children or have the childhood that you had and that can be heartbreaking, not shallow.

3. COMMENT: this shows how sometimes parents can be selfish and think of themselves and what others will say instead of their child; but we’re all human.

4. Okay, this one is pretty close to the type of parents I described in one of my earlier answers. That is very shallow and appalling that she would even ask the question. I don’t know what to really make of this. I am sad for both her and the child if the way the child is dressed is all she can think of. L

5. Pretty shallow, but probably normal of most human beings, she shouldn’t feel too bad about it I don’t reckon. 

6. Some people just think completely different from me.

7. She really had a “tell if like it is attitude”. But that’s quite unfair especially for the child. She doesn’t see all the things that she is missing with her child. She needs to enjoy the times she is having with hers now because she may not have this chance again.

8. Response: I imagine that is a typical response from someone who was raised to look at the world from a certain perspective. All of are shallow when it comes to some things the challenge, I think, as we grow is to move from a shallow perspective to a more informed, empathic one. Often challenges in life help us do that.

9.  Pretty. But at least she’s honest. A lot of people are intolerant of disabilities. Though they should, most of them never feel ashamed or feel they’re wrong.

10. This person was able to be honest with her first initial responses to a special needs child.  Is she shallow?  I think she’s human. 

11. Shameful thought--- selfish thought---we all have them. Mother’s perspective. Mother being completely honest.

12. Honesty.  This person responded just like the majority of us would initially if we were truly honest with our selves.

13. Mine: These are real parents who want normal things for their children.

14. I hope that this parent has more than the dress of her child on her mind, and I hope that she dresses the child well.

15. Wow! She is a honest woman! I think Autism needs to be recognized more.

16. na

17. We don’t really see much insight into this person’s life besides the fact that they were ignorant of autism before it happened to them.

20. Keeping Things in Perspective
© Mary Gorman, April 1999
jbgorman@juno.com
http://stevens_mom.tripod.com/id7.html

I hear a mother complain about her child "talking back to her" and think... I wish my child could talk. I see two brothers playing tag at the park and think... I wish my child could do that.

I hear a mother complain about her daughter's choice of wardrobe and think... I wish my child could choose and dress himself. I see my son line up his legos and think... I wish he would build something with them.

I complain about my child's picky eating... and think about all the children who have to be fed through tubes. I see my child climbing on the table... and think of the children who can't walk or climb.

I see a child with leukemia and think... at least my child is physically healthy. I receive from and give hugs to my son... and think of the mothers who've never received a hug from their child.

I hear my son say "Mama" for the first time and I thank God.
I look at my son and wonder at the beautiful gift God has given me.

God only gives us as much as we can handle. Sometimes it seems as though we cannot cope with all the struggles, but we must remember we are CHOSEN as strong parents of very special children.

Mary Gorman
Mom to nathan (autistic) and Jesse (speech delayed) -- 3 year old fraternal twins, and Luke (9 months)

1. I think that a parent should not compare their children to someone’s else children, but instead lean to thank God for their children without putting anyone else down especially their self.

2. Notes:  This mother feels discouraged by her children’s disabilities, but realizes that it could be a lot worse.  She is thankful for the little things she receives, hugs and acknowledgment from her child.

3. COMMENT: Never take things for granted.

4. Gone Girl! Is what I say to this mom she knows that God will never put more on you than you can bare! She has taken the little things that her disabled child does and recognizes them as blessings; she is one of the moms that a few of the ones who need to pray could learn from. J

5. I love this!  God does only give us what we can handle, His word promises us this.  So what a cool way of looking at what you have been given.  God must have known how strong I was and really believed I could carry this, otherwise, He would have never allowed it to happen. 

6. Well, this is the last passage I have to read.  If you can’t already tell, I am getting worn out from reading these sad stories.  I pray that I have a “normal” child.  However, if I do not have a normal child, I suppose that I can put my trust in God and take it day by day.

7. Another story that shows that God gives us gifts in children no matter what the child has. We need to see that God is opening our eyes to things we have not seen yet through the eyes of someone quite special.

8. Response: This is a wonderful perspective. It gives attention to something that people rarely talk about, and that is the providence of God. There is something about our fierce independence, especially as Americans, which rebels against this idea. The idea that whatever happens to me “good or bad” depending on my perspective was first allowed by God, with the assumption that God is good, and that my best interest belong to God as well, sometimes things which I perceive as being less than ideal, come my way, and work with all of my other life experiences, and all of human history, ultimately for my good. This idea is best illustrated by the cross of Christ. The murder of Jesus, was certainly less than ideal, but in the providence of God it served as the means of salvation for all who believe. I think this woman, as reveled by her words, understands the meaning of Providence.

9. We take everything for granted! This narrative made me think of a teacher my mother worked with for a while. She wanted a child so bad, and it made her angry to hear others talk in a negative way about their own. She finally had a child, a wonderfully, healthy boy, and what did she do? She joined the United Mothers Griping Club! She loves to dump her kid the first chance she gets so that she can have some “me” time.

10. Sometimes people lose sight of what “blessings” they have, but still complain and want more.  We should try putting ourselves in other people’s shoes more often.

11. Given a ‘gift’ from God. God does not give us more than we can handle. Being “chosen” to be a mother of a special needs child. Mother’s perspective.

12. This is the time when I get up from my chair and stand in the doorway of my four year old daughters room and watch her peacefully sleeping and thank God for all that she is. 

13. Mine: What we can learn is to notice what we are blessed with instead of what we aren’t.

14. Out of all the writings this is my favorite one. Because I love how this parent always finds the good in every situation that she thinks about. That just as hard as we think we may have it someone else has things tougher. She understand that instead of crying and blaming God for the events that happen in our life we should ask him to help us with them, and to show us which way to go. 5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart  and lean not on your own understanding;  6 in all your ways acknowledge him,  and he will make your paths straight. [a]  7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. Proverbs 3:5-7 (New International Version)

15. Be thankful for what you have.

16. This lady puts her problems into perspective and realizes that it could get worse.  I do that when things turn to shit.  It is a good way to cope and keep one's feet on the ground.

17. I like this narrative.  She puts a positive light out for those of use who just can’t understand.

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This page last updated August 21, 2007

Arkansas State University