(The first essay here, "Hamlet's Dilemma With Women," should demonstrate an acceptable essay; the second, "Hamlet and Revenge," represents a "bad" paper)

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[Double space entire paper—even citations]

Hamlet’s Dilemma with Women

[Notice two things here: First, the title of your paper is the first indication of what your argument will be; make it specific. Second, with regard to your opening, there is no "filler" in the introduction; no need to "warm up"]

          Numerous contradictions and paradoxes fill Shakespeare’s Hamlet, from Hamlet’s ambiguous feelings about the Ghost, his doubts about the existence of God, his "feigned" madness contrasted to his erratic behavior, and his contrast to another dutiful son, Laertes, who also seeks to avenge his father’s death. Perhaps the most intriguing contradiction, however, involves his relationship with Ophelia as compared to that with his mother. Hamlet’s true feelings for Ophelia appear ambiguous: he has exchanged love tokens with her, asks that she intercede for him with God—"Nymph, in thy orisons / Be all my sins remember’d" (3.1.81-90; The Arden Shakespeare; Harold Jenkins, ed.)

 [Note that poetry is cited with the slash mark to indicate the end of a poetical line; the reference to act, scene, line is part of your sentence; also, cite edition used only if it differs from a standard course text]

—and exclaims at her grave that "Forty thousand brothers/ Could not with all their quantity of love / Make up my sum" (5.1.264-66). While Hamlet consistently equates his mother with feminine "frailty," his actions toward Ophelia are never so clear. His private confidence in her spiritual goodness stands in opposition to his public behavior towards her. He convinces Ophelia of his insanity, publicly embarrasses her, and indirectly causes her suicide. Hamlet’s true intentions toward her apparently remain a mystery. Yet, if we compare his actions toward his mother, a woman who has greatly disappointed him and may be involved in the death of his father, Hamlet’s behavior toward Ophelia becomes clearer. Hamlet’s dilemma as to what is true, whom to believe, and how he should act appears to include his relationships to the two women in his life; however, his treatment of Ophelia and that of Gertrude demonstrate a contradiction, one in keeping with the paradoxes in the play: he mistrusts women in general, but loves and trusts Ophelia in particular; she represents the exception. 

[Is this thesis specific enough? A good thesis can never be too specific. You may want to use the formula "I intend to argue that ______________, because ______________."  If you can’t specifically fill in the spaces, in one sentence, you don’t have an argument—the "because" here offers the specific.  Notice too that the thesis statement may appear anywhere in your introductory paragraph (for very long papers, you may have an introduction comprised of several paragraphs): the thesis may be your lead sentence, appear in the middle of the paragraph, or, as above, at the end of the paragraph.  However, everything in the introduction serves to better explain--fill out--what your thesis statement means.  Any sentence that does not do that is unnecessary.  A way to edit your work is to place your thesis somewhere else in the paragraph and then see if the introduction still makes sense.]

       Gertrude, as Hamlet’s first scene indicates, should not be trusted. His suspicions of her behavior, as indicated by her hasty marriage to Claudius, demonstrate his mistrust of his mother even before the Ghost suggests that she may have been to some degree complicit in his father’s death. That suspicion and Hamlet’s attendant behavior toward her never varies in the play, from his opening soliloquy, when he exclaims "Frailty, thy name is woman" (1.2.146), to their confrontation in Gertrude’s chamber:

                O shame, where is thy blush?

                Rebellious hell,

                If thou canst mutine in a matron’s bones,

               To flaming youth let virtue be as wax

               And melt in her own fire.  (3.4.81-84) 

[Set-off quotes, (citations of more than four lines) which are by definition quotes and take no quotation marks; cite exactly as in your text; indent 10 spaces for the paragraph]

While this may seem to answer why Hamlet behaves as he does with Ophelia, his attitude toward his mother is never in doubt; he consistently remains mistrustful and accusatory. Gertrude represents for Hamlet all women and their duplicitous natures. Ophelia, however, [Note the number of times that "however," "yet," and "but" appear in this essay: does this make the argument hard to follow or seem contradictory?] is not so generalized in the play—for Hamlet, she represents one worthy of love, and one whose actions are dictated by circumstances beyond her control, as are his own.

       But those are his private thoughts; publicly he insults her, most notably by telling her: "Get thee to a nunnery. Why, wouldst thou be a breeder of sinners?" (121-22). His meaning is purposely vague: he could mean that she is "too cold" for a relationship, or, in the Elizabethan slang implication of "nunnery," that she is a whore and should remove herself to a house of prostitution.   [Always consider your reader: how much "extra information" or plot is necessary? Use these only to illustrate your argument, which you have already presented—illustrations (citations) do just that—they illustrate, and so should follow the point they make.]  Most importantly in his tirade, however, Hamlet says of himself, "I am very proud, revengeful, ambitious, with more offences at my beck than I have thoughts to put them in, imagination to give them shape, or time to act them in" (124-27).  [This is prose, so it needs no slash marks; always check to be sure you know the difference between poetry and prose.]   Such a statement, especially after a soliloquy in which he contemplates suicide, cannot be taken seriously. The claim is merely for Ophelia’s benefit, to frighten and distance her from the man she thought she knew. This becomes more evident when in the midst of Hamlet’s outburst, and following his admission of a supposed evil nature, he suddenly breaks off to ask the unsuspecting Ophelia, "Where’s your father?" His question, apparently meant to offer her the opportunity of confessing that Polonius, with the king, is hidden nearby spying on them, is met with a dishonest response: "At home, my lord" (130-132). While it may seem that such an obvious lie confirms his worst suspicions about women, Hamlet realizes that she—as is he—remains a dutiful child, caught in an untenable position. She obeys her father, though it causes her pain. It is then that Hamlet increases his attack, accusing her of the worst excesses of a woman’s perfidious nature. His concluding lines, however—"I say we will have no mo marriage. Those that are married already—all but one—shall live; the rest shall keep as they are. To a nunnery go" (149-51)—indicate that his words are hollow and have shifted from Ophelia; his intention is to threaten the king, and he undoubtedly says this a few feet from where the two men hide.

 [Note that you do not have to follow chronological order of plot in your paper; organize around your argument and select only the plot that illustrates—proves—your point.]

         It becomes clear, therefore, that Hamlet’s objectionable behavior toward Ophelia is meant to distance her from the terrible actions that will ensue when he fulfills his duty as avenger for his father’s death. He purposely distances himself from any distraction that will obstruct that duty, even his personal happiness. One must admit, however, that while Hamlet’s actions with regard to that duty are questionable, Ophelia must bear some responsibility for the degree of Hamlet’s harsh rejection of her. Unable to ascertain the reason for his strange behavior, Polonius, with the king’s assent, begins the scene by directing her to spy on the prince. Knowing that Hamlet will soon appear, he turns to his daughter: "Ophelia, walk you here.—Gracious, so please you, / We will bestow ourselves.—Read this book, / That show of such an exercise may colour / Your loneliness" (3.1.43-46). Ophelia, an obedient daughter, readily obeys, even though it means spying on the man she loves. What follows is Hamlet’s "To be, or not to be" soliloquy, which is spoken with Ophelia upstage pretending to read a book of devotion. That Hamlet forgives this breach of etiquette—for she presents herself as one contemplating spiritual matters—is clear from his remark that he desires her intercession for him in her prayers. And if one compares his admiration for her goodness at the first of their meeting with the harshness that follows, his true intentions become more clear.

[Note transitional phrases, here and above, that help the flow of your paper.] 

        In like manner, his actions toward Ophelia prior to the play-within-the play one scene later are meant for similar effect. His lewd insinuations quickly shift from her to his true concern: how will the king and Gertrude react to a re-creation of his father’s death? When the king’s actions confirm for Hamlet the Ghost’s revelation, Hamlet departs the stage with the intention of confronting his mother, to learn the extent of her involvement in the murder. Hamlet once again shifts from the particular feelings he has and must conceal with regard to Ophelia, to a condemnation of his mother’s behavior, which indicates a generic disgust with women. Demanding to know how she could love a man such as Claudius, Hamlet insists "You cannot call it love; for at your age / The heyday in the blood is tame, it’s humble" (3.4.68-69). Such an insinuation, one that shows an astounding misunderstanding of the physical aspects of love at any age, can only suggest Hamlet’s exaggerated sense of the nature of women: as creatures of passion, having spent their physical desires they are incapable of any other form of love. His disgust reveals a contradiction, however, for he condemns Gertrude for living in "the rank sweat of an enseamed bed, / Stew’d in the corruption, honeying and making love / Over the nasty sty!" (92-94).

 [Look at the many "to be" verbs in this essay: is, am, were, are, etc., which lack force and are weak.  We cannot always avoid them, as in the previous sentence; but try to replace them with more active words: for example, I might rewrite the above by saying "these verbs appear weak…." Also, avoid weak openings for sentences, such as "There are...,," "This is…," "It is...," "It would appear that...," etc.  We call such openings "anticipatory" because the reader must wait to learn what "this" or "it" or "there" stands for--so start with where you're headed: Not "There are three ways we may prepare...," but "We may prepare three ways...."]

         How are we to rectify these contradictory feelings that Hamlet has for women? [Your conclusion: it summarizes your argument; it does not repeat the introduction or introduce new material.  Also, only ask questions you are prepared to answer.] Obviously his dilemmas in the play extend beyond his belief in the Ghost’s assertion and the seeming paradox of how a Christian gentleman can become an agent of murderous revenge—they extend to his regard for the two women in his life. And, as with many of the paradoxes in the play, he must somehow justify his love for Ophelia while condemning the more "commonplace" behavior of women, as demonstrated by his mother. The former reflects an attraction based upon his own judgment, while the latter represents a woman forced upon him as her male child; he must accept her "typical" female behavior. Such a neat division of these relationships is not, of course, logical; but Hamlet is a play that repeatedly demonstrates that logic and reason are not to be trusted. As the protagonist of the play, Hamlet’s judgments are often questionable and may be said to represent his "flaw." This in no way excuses his behavior toward Ophelia, but it explains why he can separate—in a mind that is clearly troubled with the responsibilities forced upon him—the particular love of a woman from the perfidious nature of women in general.

     [Always reread your essay aloud: listen for the repetition of ideas and words; use a thesaurus (and check your spelling of words; we all think we spell correctly but usually make the same mistakes). Remember too that grammar is merely a tool to help your style of writing, which should allow ideas to flow more freely and thus make your argument easier to follow and to comprehend.

     Embedding represents one example: it merges short, choppy sentences into one clear idea. For example: "Hamlet is undecided as to Ophelia’s loyalty. He wants to believe her. He cannot." This would read better as "Hamlet, undecided as to Ophelia’s loyalty, finds he cannot believe her." Another rewriting might be "Wanting to believe in Ophelia’s loyalty, Hamlet unfortunately finds he cannot because of his indecisive nature." Learn to subordinate sentences for variety—as in the above, "Wanting to believe…"—and use the tools of embedding: relative pronouns ("who," "that," "which"), adverbs ("when," "even though," "before," "yet," "while," etc.), and participles ("wanting" from the above sentence). Rewrite, edit, rewrite, edit, rewrite, and edit your work. Your papers represent a creative example of how you think, revealing your ability to analyze and to discuss what you know. Take pride in them.]

Hamlet and Revenge

        Hamlet was written by William Shakespeare, probably in 1600.  It is one of the "great tragedies," inspiring people today with the greatness of the play.  Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, is the hero of Shakespeare's play, and he must obey the ghost of his father and kill the new king, Claudius (the brother of Hamlet, Sr.), because he murdered Hamlet's father.  Whether Hamlet obeys his father and kills Claudius, or disobeys his father (not knowing whether his father is a ghost from purgatory or demon from hell)  [why all the parenthetical statements? avoid them; if it’s important, put it into your paper; if it isn’t, leave it out] is the principle question in the play. 

         Hamlet appears to believe the ghost of his father, but still does not kill Claudius.  Because he does not kill him, other people in the play die who are apparently innocent of any crime. Should Hamlet wait so long to take revenge? Should he obey the ghost of his father and do something "unChristian," like murdering someone?  Or should he expect that heaven has ordered him to do what the Ghost has asked?  Hamlet should not have waited so long. If he had done as the ghost instructed, innocent people would not have died. He should have murdered Claudius, and then waited to see whether he (the Ghost) was correct. If he lied to him, then Hamlet could have repented of his deed.

  [What is the thesis of this paper, which should appear in the opening paragraph? If you don’t have a one-sentence statement that identifies the specific of why you are writing the paper, you don’t have a thesis: all papers have three sections: 

         1. Why? (Introduction: why am I writing this paper?)

         2. How? (Body: how will I prove my argument?)

         3. What? (Conclusion: what did I say—argue—in this paper?)]

         Hamlet did not know whether he was an instrument of God for good in the world, or merely a "tool" of the devil. At first he head no doubt as to the Ghost's authenticity; but as the play goes on, he begins to doubt that heaven would command such a thing. this causes him to wait. Yet when he does act, he accidentally kills the wrong person (Polonius) [as in two paragraphs above, an unnecessary parenthesis:  simply say "...he accidentally kills Polonius."].   He now knows that it doesn't matter whether he is directed by heaven or not, because he has shed innocent blood himself.  His revenge has taken a strange course because of the events that take place in Gertrude's chamber, where Polonius eavesdrops on Hamlet from behind an arras, and Hamlet, thinking it is Claudius, kills him without first seeing who it is that hides behind the curtain.

       The indecision that Hamlet demonstrates causes the deaths of many people, so it doesn't matter whether he is chosen by God to get revenge or not.  He must bear the responsibility, which is part of the burden of a tragic character.  However, Polonius's death shows us that Hamlet was never hesitant to act, only hesitant as the sanction of his actions. In other words, heaven ordained the events; Hamlet was a "tool" of heaven, not Satan’s, and that is what made Hamlet question the revenge. Why should heaven order such a thing?  Why shouldn't Claudius be punished in hell?  [Notice all the questions here: if you raise a question, answer it.  Avoid excessive questions in a paper.]

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